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Encounter

"I'm going to go as far as possible" - Kim Jin Hyuk

Well this line was about his love for Cha, but I have come to take this words toward's my dream. To dream the impossible dream and to soon make it possible. It's funny how when I was younger all I wanted was to put my name on the slate of awardees in school, prom queens and achievers; and wanting it so badly that I needed to work harder than I could ever work for. As I grew, I already knew what I wanted to be in life. I have written my dreams through the walls and corridors of my alma mater "I'm gonna make it big out there". But as my dreams grew bigger, nobody had warned me that after the school ends, the life begins.


It took me a lot of reruns and setbacks before I could go back and move from the place I was swallowed. As the years passed by, I always kept in my heart the dream I have always yearning for.  I'm going to make all my impossibles come true. These quote were not meant for me, but I felt it. It gives me the strenght to move forward.

My best friend told me this "Before we are chasing who we are, now we are chasing what we can be". I am no longer building myself because I know I am knowledgeable, still learning from all sorts of experience but I know I can make through. I can do this! Facing this challenges with a smile on my face, just like how Kim Jin Hyuk is!

As soon as I knew about this drama, I was super excited to finally watch Bogum after Love in the Moonlight! He's my ultimate bias among all oppas hahahaha....

I'm so into light dramas, it's like a quick re-route from all that is happening. This drama was new, I guess the first drama that involves a woman CEO who falls in love with her employee and even if you know how the story's going to end, the story was engaging enough that you wanted it to finish in one sitting (well for me, not because Bogum is my crushie). This drama broke the stereotypes of kdrama (since almost every drama I have watched pertains to a CEO who takes care of his girl. This drama was the other way around) No wrist grabbing and pushing on the wall hahahahhaa

The chemistry between Song Hye Kyo and Park Bogum is like dandelions. Song Hye Kyo's fierce character and her character history made me love her, I mean she's really good masking her expressions despite of just having that straight face. I feel her pain, especially when she see's her ex-husband. On the other hand, Bogum was like the complete opposite. He smiles throughout everything and I feel like he's super pure that you don't want to hurt his feelings. I feel you Cha Soo Hyun!

 " I learned what love is through a book, right, so this is what love is, this is what happen if I falling in love, it is clear to me now, thanks to you, it's clear now, what love is."

Kim Jin Hyuk's words are too innocent to handle. haissss.. If you guys like some light drama this one is good for you!Thank you so much for dropping by! I hope you guys are safe and healthy! :)

DAY 1:

Day 1: 

Eyes awake, inner core screaming from a different time phase

Packed the strength needed for this race

Everything seems slowing down

But no matter how helpless it is 

Listen to that drum banging on your ear

Wake up you damsel in distress

Your here to unravel the voices of your hopes and dreams

This is just the beginning of the pages you will be writing 

Beauty is within you.

THOUGHTS.

Back to my 10 year old self, when everybody seems to be pretty and dazzling in my eyes. I used to remember how I compare myself with others. That I am not good enough, nor pretty enough to be recognize. Probably because I was so thin, curly hair child, rabbit teeth and extremely shy, I was not even as approachable as the others.

I wanted to fit in so badly that I ended up screwing things. In the midst of everyone who are pretty and popular, I was that one girl, who felt like I have nothing to offer. I was not just being left out, but I was bullied because they think I was too fragile to stand up for myself. I used to hide in comfort rooms during break times because I was so scared to be muttered. I was too scared to be laugh at, to be the center of a huge joke and become the little poor thing who needs to do everything they say.

One scenario, when my classmates told me to sing in front of the whole class (we had no teacher during that time) and laughed about how I was intimidated by their stares. Despite on how they laugh, I mastered the courage to sing my favorite song which is "POKEMON" theme song. Even if it started a much more bigger teasing moments!

Fast forward as I reached teenage years. AWWW MAAAANNN, this is where comparisons lay cross your face. When people compares you with others, "Why can't you be just like her?", when people talked about the so called responsibility you would never had. When you were the shadow of your friend.

I felt hopeless and neglected in everything, BUT even if those things happened, I took a step forward and continue to make my parents proud. I study really hard, I extended my hand to others who are in need, I didn't care if I was compared or was not the prettiest, I just proved them wrong.

I joined speech competitions, I was enrolled in swimming and piano lessons to boost my self esteem and little by little I learned to love myself. I was on top my class, and won as a school president, the happiest memory of my aside from graduation. I didn't thought about it as "BECAUSE I MATTER, but because I WAS HAPPY fulfilling what I wanted without any pressuring myself to fit in the crowd ".

Here's one thing. You are never alone in your troubles. You were never alone in your doubts. You were never alone even if you feel so small. Because there would be someone, maybe not someone who would held your hand and say "GO ON".

I was never alone. I had someone to call whenever I was in fear. I had my best friends who always got me covered. I wouldn't survive my school years and my life until now if it wasn't for their encouragement. I have my mom, my brothers, my family wasn't complete but that doesn't mean I am missing a piece of my life. Because I was hone to be strong and to be humble despite of all those struggles. As I look back at those memories, I feel happy and content with what I have right now.Yes, I haven't reach my maximum potential yet, nor had achieved the dreams I wanted (i have fell and slipped tons of time and rejections had come and go)  but I am okay and alright and I am thirsty for more.

So don't ever doubt yourself, we all have our own timelines, it may took us years or more but we should be patient in life. We must truly accept ourselves first rather than worrying about what others think about you. LISTEN, listen to what your heart is shouting,

THOUGHTS: Long Distance Friendship

It’s been almost 2 years since me and my childhood bff part ways (huwaaat!). Well not dramatically part ways, she’s in Australia, I am here in the Philippines. Even if we’re miles apart, we still find ways to check up on each other and send “I miss you” and “I love you” occasionally.

We have also been in this Long Distance friendship way back; after finishing college, she went back to Saudi Arabia to work. Despite of having different time frames, we manage to still video call one another, still made fun with what’s within our surface and constantly fangirl about the Jonas Brothers! (yes they were our boyfriends before hahahaa)

It’s funny how it all began to happen again. I was trying to stop my tears when I hug her and told her see you soon, I was super strong to hold it in, and my tears suddenly fell when we wave at each other good bye! It’s not really the end of everything but the missing feels part is such a hardship!

Even if the time we talk has lessen through time, I never felt that something was missing nor something was broken. I always waited patiently on every picture post on her instagram and like everything to tell her how much I miss her, and would bug her with messages randomly and say Hello!

Both of us would even send photos to one another just to tell one another that “We’re basically doing fine! And I am happy seeing you happy!”

Honestly, growing apart is helping the two of us grow. She’s taking her masters in Australia, while I am doing everything to hone my crafts and one day (tomorrow) I will land a job that could enhance more of my skills!

We have different likes and dislikes, we have different ambitions in life, but we manage to stay align with our hopes and dreams for one another! You just need to find time, quality (internet) moments, new things to do and a reminder to one another that you’ll just be here no matter what even if the sea had separated you!

I miss you uNNie! :D See you really SOOOOON! <3

#Thoughts

Remember the days when you wake up in the morning with a smile in your face?  That feeling when you finally wanted to step out of the sun and reach the dreams you have in your sleep. Those were the years you spent writing, visualizing, dreaming about the day you could finally fulfill the dreams you have ever since you were a child. Everyday seems so magical, everyday seems adventurous, and you can’t wait for that moment to come. That moment when all those hardships were all paid off.

As those time passes by your life becomes stagnant. It’s just there, you just exist in the world where everybody is floating, and everybody has their own lives. It’s like blinking your eye in a second and your best friend is getting married, your classmate now owns his/her business, your old pal is having a baby, your closest friend is now a celebrity. Everybody is moving forward, except you. You’re just there, camouflaging. You were quite okay, because you’re better than yesterday but sometimes you can’t get out of your bed because you were drowning in your own tears.

You tried. I know you tried escaping from your fears. I know you would say that at the back of your head that you did what you can do. You did all the possibilities to reach it and you were lovely. Standing there with a smile on your face, achieving what you can in your own little way, and even if you fail you still have that smile of positivity and telling yourself that all you have to do is to believe. So what if I fail I know it would make me a better and stronger person and you did! You are stronger from before.

Reality bites big time, because here you are staring the four corners of your room thinking what went wrong. From those smiles you have, worries came.  That feeling of being alone haunts you like a ghost of the past. You wonder, you ask, you over thinked, “Why did you became so different from everybody else?”, “Why in the world did you take this path of the so called unknown?”, “Am I going to be like this for the rest of my life?” “Unsuccessful? Unworthy? The talk of the town? That child who brings sorrows to her parents?” You filed yourself with so many dreams that once in your life you have never felt it alive.

The life you dreamed of was the opposite of what you have. You struggle to live in peoples expectations. Resume’s scattered on the floor, your age from the very first time you applied grew bigger and bigger and it was unstoppable. You focused your eyes on reading job hunts on your computer and submitting every possible careers that you could possibly fit into but the business world doesn’t qualify you.  Words of people surrounding you stabbed you in the back as if you’re a worthless street rat who could never go on with her life. The inferiorities of all superiorities, the sickness of the community, the failure that could never be brought up.

And then with the sadness harming your heart into pieces you reached your phone and all you could do was to call that person who could fully understand you because once upon a time you two had met. It may be in a different crossroads but faith had brought you in this path of struggles. That someone who could make you feel important. Someone who cheers on to you even if the whole world doesn’t, someone who supports you in all possible cost giving that smile in her face telling you do not worry. You would laugh for hours hearing the stories she could give you or hearing her tears as she tells you horrible her phases in life is, or how you both look into each other’s eye and tell each other we’re going to make it through. Even if sometimes you guys don’t know where to start.  That acceptance; that once in your life you are okay, you are yourself, no one is judging you for your flaws; you feel the love that no one could ever give. Even just for a few hours or so you were fine.

But sometimes it was never enough, you wake up in an estranged world of heartache. It’s banging inside your head. The memory of pain that night was definitely wearisome. And then you screamed with anger inside your heart “What’s wrong with you? Couldn’t you get a grip? Why are you such a failure? How would you surpass this if you yourself don’t believe you could never do it!? You’re just like what they think you are”

I tell you be still my friend. Don’t lose it. Cause look at me I am still okay and I am quite running my dreams. I do understand every single bit of what you are feeling. I was there, I have been there and I am still there. I have make stupid decisions in life, I have cried like a river, I have woken up with so much pain in my heart, I have felt that emptiness that no one could ever understand but in this life we should get through this. We all have our moments, our own regrets, our own mistakes, but don’t hate yourself just because your phase is slower than the others.

Be positive. Be that girl who used to dream that she’s going to marry a prince. Don’t stop singing the song on every shooting star you see. Don’t stop travelling in those fairytale dreams. Be as awesome as Natalie Portman! Or as tough as Serena Williams! Or as kind hearted like Angelina Jolie and marry your own Brad Pitt (or maybe someone like a Lee Minho or a Zac Efron!) or be Like our Ms. Universe who never stopped believing in her dreams! You go girl! :D You might fall tons of time or might not get there, but don’t stop!

There is so much that the world could offer. It’s a beautiful place and it’s waiting for you to make it all happen. You still have books on your shelf that you could read. More stairs to take. You even haven’t lived half of your life kiddo. Don’t over think too much. Don’t waste your time in drinking your pain away. There’s so much ahead of you. Look at you right now, you are blessed. Enjoy those simple things. Don’t waste it by all those self indulgent, heart sucking pain, sadness and those boundaries that you’re not supposed to touch. Use happiness everyday. It’s okay to be alone, because you need that to be a better person, but not to the extent of never going back again.

We are all struggling! And that’s not a bad thing. We’re humans. Do the simple things in life. Read a dictionary. Write poetries. Go to museums. Take photos. Go on workshops. Study.Breathe. Be thankful. Enjoy yourself. Go fashion designing. Take a leap and take chances. Don’t be afraid unless it’s conjuring! Enjoy the food on the table as if it’s going to be your last. Don’t over think about why? How? What? When? Just relax and go with the life’s flow. Its okay to make mistakes lose yourself, but not too loose. And lastly its okay to fail. It’s okay to cross those roads. Whatever that dreams you build in your heart, keep it close to you. It’s that fuel that keeps your life going. You deserve to be happy. You are a one brave fella. You’ll never know what the next day would offer. J

You should enjoy this ride! You’ll be fine!

And for the record you’re neither on your 30s nor on your 50’s!! So be cool! Make the best memories with your love ones and friends! :)

Thoughts

So I am trapped in this lucid dream of questions and thoughts. I lay my head on my bed and thinking about what's going next and here I am just having this thoughts in my head.

God made the world with love and care. He cared so much for all of us He sent his only son to save us from our sins. As holy week is coming, these thoughts of mine had poke me that this world we live in is so big, there are a lot of things that is happening. 

As a human, a wonderful creation by our Almighty, we above all creatures has the knowledge to think about what is right and what is wrong. We have the power to posses things in a positive light and think about what we NEED and what we don't need. 

But as time progress man's intelligence, even way way before our time, SELFISHNESS, JEALOUSY, KILLINGS, Love for POWER, OPPRESSING THE LITTLE, had been rampant, and it seems like the world is been covered with darkness. Humans had the brains to know what is right and wrong, but we use it to destroy our mother earth, killing animals, destroying each other, and worse death. 

Imagine how "The Walking dead" started as fighting with Zombies but the real villains in the story was not the Zombies, but us HUMANS. 

You open your television, all you see is bad news, all you hear is fighting about a certain island, certain power, certain place in the politics, and even worse the number of people killing just to be alive, or the number of people being killed just because "JUST BECAUSE" there emotions are out of control, or just simply anger. 

Terrorism, the eagerness to kill the innocent, the hunger for wanting that POWER of being on top. You look at them with questions, "What happened to this people? How can they not feel remorse, or empathy? Why does this things should happen?" 

I question why? God created the world, for unity and peace, He made us humans for us to understand that the life we borrowed is so precious that we should follow the path of goodness in order for the world to be a better place for our children's children. 

Humans are created to think. But as time passes by, the world gets darker and the place you live in feels like its not safe anymore. And you just sit there and wonder why, it looks so sad. 

Despite of those questions, ON THE BRIGHTER SIDE of the world you live in, there are thousands of Good news to read, lot's of inspiring stories to be heard and a lot of goodness to celebrate. No matter how darkness try to fill in our souls, there is always LIGHT. That path on where you can see the significance of one's true happiness. That in every storm, there will always be a rainbow, and on every rainbow there's a pot of gold. 

It's on us to choose to be happy, to be peace with life, and to be the son's and daughters of unity. There are a lot of good things that is happening in our world. There are still a lot of people fighting for the life of the environment, 

I pray and hope that as our technology progress, our progress to a brighter, fruitful and peaceful tomorrow would be bigger. That every race, face, age, gender would be accepted equally. Because all of us are gifts from the heavens above. :D 

BLOG: Driving with my best friend

Driving with my best friend has a lot of input of my life as of today. There are things that I didn't realize before that I have come to understand why. Moments like this are like books written in your heart but was never published. My best friend in college is one of the authors of life who has kept hidden for quite some time now, but I wanted to make her realize that her knowledge in life can help uplift people the same way it uplifted me.

Being ahead of me, I never felt that she was beyond me nor she let me feel that she was better than me, especially when it comes to life changing dramas, triumphs and all, but instead she is one of the most humbled person I have met in this road full of people trying to dictate your life. In a world of people who is pretending to be someone there not, there's my best friend.

Late night coffee drinking, late night messages and calls are one of the best, but those late night driving sessions is one of the best. I get to know more side of her than just the facade she shares to people we know. More than the happy go lucky personality, is a deep, emotional, strong person hiding from those laughter and smiles.

She's like one of the teachers you would like to be your favorite at the same time, the strict teacher who just wants the best for you. Those late nights of just music and talking, there were moments like were almost writing a book of quotes of life that every after wording, we forget, and moved on with it.

So here are some quotes she managed to instill in my thoughts as we travel through the roads of our inhibitions and dreams. Quite sadist, painful but I guess, this thoughts of life made me scared, scared that I wanted to stand up and get away from the possibility of loosing myself and be a burden to the society that created me.... I wanted to enjoy and live my life to the fullest without any regrets. It feels like essay exam all over again. I have inserted my explanation on the toughest words my best friend had told me :D

1. "All we need to do is chase our dreams" - As teenagers, we all have this dreams that we love to achieve as soon as we graduated from our school. We wanted it so badly we have created phases in our head and as soon as we walk out on the real world we wanted to have it on our hands. And that's what we have been doing, ever since 2011.

2. "Love is not consistent, it radiates" - Which is somehow I don't understand since, I have never felt in love before, but as she explains, sometimes we fall in love just by the spurs of the moment, that instead of that everlasting feeling of getting giddy, "Kilig", and by the time it fades, we would look into someone else for that longings and find another love with a new one. Love is not consistent, it radiates not just once but as long as your heart is beating it would go further and further.

3. "We are from the idealist generation, but sometimes, we cannot escape the fact that we must live and understand that reality is different from our own perspective of life, and therefore we become pragmatic"  - Well as a matter of fact, oh well, how can I even have an answer to this! I have my own philosophies in life that was instill in my mind ever since I was growing up. That as we face life, realities came to us not just one by one but a blast. Because of this triumphs of overthinking things, you just wanted to shut down the world your moving in and just turn on the things you just wanted to see, and make way through your imagination. But at the end of the day you'll just lay your head into your bed and wake yourself up that this is the world you live in. Not some imaginative scenario of you walking towards those dreams but a reality where you need to work had to achieve the things you want.

4. "Keep that fire burning" - The most used phrase she always tell me. Don't lose it, it's one of the most powerful powers we have in our youth. That burning power of achieving our dreams no matter how hard it is. Just keep on fighting and keep moving forward.

5. "If you want someone who you can't have it will destroy you from within" - an excerpt she said from a Korean Drama Moonlight (From her explanation of love we can't have) We used to like someone we can never have, and because of that we ought to question why does everyone I like can never like me back, the common problem of someone who has been infatuated by the unrequited love phase. Instead of making that person an inspiration, it's making us loose it. We imagined things like what if's, but at the end of the day we realize that everything that had trolled our mind is simply a scenario of something that could never happened and now we go back at number 2 :D

6. "We get old, we loose our youth, and sometimes, life never gave us the chance" - so this is sad! Having a middle aged crisis sucks, even if your not even middle aged. As we paved our way to our 20's being on the 20's makes you feel that your no longer at your youth, your no longer given the chance to succeed, the doors close in front of you, without even letting you try.

7. "Shying away from the public eye doesn't mean your scared but a step to get to know more about yourself at the same time. Just for a MOMENT. Don't get too comfortable to your own personal space because if you indulge yourself with it you couldn't get it all back" -In which I added, that if you really get used to being alone and doing nothing, you'll have all the regrets in the world on why did I even stayed stagnant. It's a huge realization that would make you or break you. Cause the more that you are not doing anything the more you question life. This is one of the reasons why I don't want being alone. I wanted to do so many things is crumpling my check lists! Because in the end all you have is regret. Regret of not moving. "Don't ever regret the things that you haven't accomplished, because that's life we fail but we have a power to stand back again and get on track. But the biggest regret will ever have is the time we waste just by feeling that down time". DOn't worry, because it's okay to have some alone time once in a while. We need it to grow :D

8. "It's just you, me and good music" - (INSERT: I swear in this moment we are infinite - thevibe-) that's the driving mood. With super loud music and super loud voices and super moment of silent and superb of the moment :D

9. In connection to number 1. After years and years of understanding that not everything we wanted in life happens if you just wish it and the word is "ACCEPTANCE - it is how you handle un-predictiveness whether it will come true or not what is important is you know how to accept youe end game. Life moves on and so are you" This is so true, as you grow up you came to realize that everything in this world couldn't be granted just for you. You just need to accept and face the facts that this is life. It's on how you handle it with a smile on your face and full of positive vibes. By the time you realize it, your game face is still on but your now open with CHANGE. :D

10. "Do not conform and sometimes being unapologetic is fine" Yes, we must not be manipulated by the rules and regulation others had set for us. The society may lose us if we don't find ourselves. It's our life and it's up to us on what direction we would love to chase. It doesn't mean we disrespect the high standards of our fore fathers or the people surrounding us, it's just we don't want to be a part of the repetitive niche of life. At the same time, by the time we followed the path we take, and took a stand on what we really wanted in life, we must not be unapologetic in achieving it. We respect them, but we also want to do things in our way. :D



And to add some more, I have realized that in order to achieve our dreams we need to take risks. we need to get out of that comfort zone and try everything in our hands to achieve it. And if failures had approached you as often as you couldn't imagine, greet him with a smile on your face and stand up once again and take that path of greatness.

It's okay to fail and be sad about it for a while but it's sadder if you haven't tried the things you wanted to do and regret it in the end. It's better to feel the pain of rejections and all instead of the feeling of what ifs :D


I hope this blog had something that had instill on to you :D For more happiness and change! :D

Behind this mask.....