Before I close my eyes and say good night, I just want to share to you guys my new DIY. Since I'm the eldest switching phones is a must. I used to own a Samsung Corby that was originally owned by my second brother and that was passed down to my third brother and is passed down to me. I have been using this Samsung Phone for 8 months now, and since I need to give them back my Samsung, an older Nokia 3600 was given to me. SO WHAT TO DO????
make it dainty pinky! :) hahahahaha... ;)
Sunday, August 31, 2014
They said, it was a wrong idea
So I quit
They said, that I couldn't make it
and yes they're right
They said, it's not even worth it
so I stop believing
They said I needed help
and so I ask
They said, I was wasting my time dreaming
so I stood up
They said, All the things to discourage me
All I thought I will be happy
All I thought that I am meeting their expectations
But now, I don't want to listen to every word they have said
Everyday of my life, I was bound to listen
But this time I'll follow my heart
I may have low self esteem
But I know my faith is higher than my extremes
I know I can make it
Because I BELIEVE I can
So no matter how many times you pull me down
I'll push myself up to a better and brighter life that is waiting for me :)
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
Once upon a time, there was a girl named Caitlyn who believed that stars can make her dreams come true. Every night she sits beside their window, close her eyes and whispered with her heart “Dear Mr. Star, there you are so far, wishing on you that one day this dream would come true. I’ll be waiting for that perfect day even if it took me hundreds of days.”
She was bright and small. She give thanks to everything she has and never asked for more. Her classmates used to call her baby, for believing in such impossible dream. But she never give up and ask Mr. Star every night “Dear Mr. Star, there you are so far, wishing on you that one day this dream would come true. I’ll be waiting for that perfect day even if it took me hundreds of days.”
Caitlyn never stopped dreaming. She wished to be a princess and dance into a ball wearing her beautiful crown. But she guessed Mr. Star is a little bit busy, so she made her paper crown and dance in front of her grandfather. She wished to be taller but she guessed Mr. Star was again busy, so she wore her mom’s high heels. She wished to be pretty but then again Mr. Star was too busy to hear her, so she asked her mother to tie up her hair. She didn’t give up she wished and wished and wished but Mr. Star didn’t hear.
One night, she stare at their ceiling thinking what she should do to make Mr. Star grant her wish. She closed her eyes and breathe deeply. Slowly she opened her eyes and didn’t believe what she saw. She was lying on the clouds and it looked like a giant cotton candy. She touched it, how soft it was, where am I? What am I doing here? Am I dreaming? She pinched her arms thinking that this was all just a dream. How could she get here? As soon as she stood up, a light shines above her, because it was too bright to see she ended up following it's light rays. And there Mr. Star shinning on her, because she was too happy to see him, she tried to reach it and trying to touch it, but before she gets close the clouds suddenly move away from one another. She stare at Mr. Star and without further ado, she jump over the next cloud. Her heart is beating so fast, she wanted to get close to Mr. Star. But a strong wind is pulling her away from it. It seems like the star was out of reach, so near yet so far. “Caitlyn” a voice, so familiar but she ignores it, she was so focused on the star that she badly wanted to touch it, she wanted to feel it and slowly she walk closer to Mr. Star, reaching her hand “Caitlyn” that voice again, quite annoyed she walk more steps and poof, she fell.
Her hand stretched, reaching out, but she’s already falling, it was too late, the clouds covering it's shining light, all she could see was darkness but that voice keeps calling her name, echoing on her ear.
“Caitlyn” bang! She fell from her bed “Caitlyn! You better get up, it’s 12:00 in the afternoon! Day dreaming is over!” her mom scolded. “It was just a dream" she looked at her clock "Thank goodness, ouch my head hurts” she looked up, glowing in the dark stars loose it’s glow as the sun lights lightened her room.
After finishing all her chores at home, she had a frown on her face, thinking what’s more to chase? Mr. Star couldn’t hear me, do I need to give up this dream? I only wanted one thing? Is it too hard to give?
Questions, questions, questions, why Mr. Star, why? I believed in you? Even if everybody thinks it’s crazy. But I do hold on to you? I did a lot of effort not to be sad and pursue the paths I wanted to take but why Mr. Star, why?
She sat by the stairs and tears fell over her face. Her grandfather saw her and sat down beside her “What’s the matter dear child?” he asked “Nothing grandpa” she answered “Nothing but why a frown on your face?” he took her on his lap and told her story “When I was your age, I also love staring at that big windows of ours wishing and wishing that one day the dream I am wishing would come true” Caitlyn wiped her tears away “Really? What happened?” she asked “Well, my friends got the dream I wanted to have” he said with a smile “Mr. Star didn’t give it to you?” she asked with anger “He did, but it took me years to realize that the gift I wanted to have is already in front of me”
“You didn’t even know?” Caitlyn asked “Because I was looking at a bigger picture I didn’t notice it”
“So what happened?”
“I took a step forward and ask her to be my wife”
“Grandma is your dream?”
“Not just a dream but a dream come true”
“But I don’t want to get married it still beyond my reach. And I’m only thirteen”
“I know, what I’m saying is, maybe Mr. Star would give his gift to you by the time you are ready to face the challenges of life. Or you don’t notice it. Just stay positive and dream that dream and you’ll never know it’s already right before your eyes” her grandfather said as she tap her in her nose. “Oh by the way, I have a surprise for you”
He took out a pink wand and click its bottom and said “Taran! Look Mr. Star had landed in the market and I guess he wanted you to hold him until that moment when you finally reach your dream”
“Wow! Thanks grandpa! I always wanted to be a fairy someday!” she hugged her grandfather and ran upstairs “Caitlyn”
“To make its power work, wish your heart’s desire and click it’s bottom and circle it around your head and say ‘I wish, I wish, I wish! I wish with all my heart and faith, I wish to you my greatest dream’ and tell Mr. Star your dream is”
Years had passed, Caitlyn who loves to look at Mr. Star, sat by their old window once again, sheclosed her eyes and wished “Dear Mr. Star, I know you can hear me and I know your always there, all I wanted to say is thank you for guiding me all the way”
She took her wand, whispered “Grandpa, I miss you, I’m already grown up and little by little I’m exploring my dream. You we’re right, it’s just right before my very eye all I just need is to move and take a step forward. Look, I still have Mr. Star beside me and you up there shinning bright on me”
She stood up “I wish, I wish, I wish! I with all my heart and faith, I wish to you my greatest dream, please guide me through this path of dreams that if I miss the chance to hold my one star, I would have the chance to take a step to reach the sky” and she click it’s bottom and circled it around her head. She never stop believing until that very moment she had touched the sky.
Friday, August 8, 2014
It was year 1968, December 1968, after the war, a lot of things change. Well, maybe for me, I was a part of the military services during that time. And I guess I am pretty lucky, I was one of the survivors when a mortar attacked our camp.
It was Monday morning, first day to start something new. Since everything was a bit new, I saw something peculiar, rather someone peculiar. She seems on her 20’s, petite and wear ballet shoes. She was just standing in front of the train doors, not waiting for someone, nor trying to get in, just standing.
She was pointing her feet backwards and then forward. Staring at the ground and then looking at the sun. I didn’t bother to look at her anymore, so I rode at the train and noticed sadness in her eyes.
After a long day of work, I saw her again, standing at that same position. Waiting? Not waiting? I don’t know. What is wrong with her? I asked myself. Oh well, generation today, a bit weird, so strange. So I pass by her thinking she’s crazy, yes I know what a jerk am I? Maybe she’s just afraid of trains. Oh I’m so judgmental!
The next day, she was still there. But now, wearing a floral dress and her ballet shoes. I’m guessing she’s a ballerina, or maybe she just loves wearing those kind of shoes! Her aura was a bit different than yesterday. It was more joyful compare to what I saw in her eyes that day. Again, after a long day of work, she was there again, standing at that same position. NEVER MOVING.
Days and days had passed, she was still there. She never moved her spot. Just there, waiting, not waiting. I smiled, maybe she’s waiting for her boyfriend or maybe her boyfriend dumped her because she’s clingy. Good thing that the people don’t mind her at all. They pass by her thinking she’s just a living ghost.
Days become months, and she was still there. What is she thinking?
The rain is pouring so hard, she’s not even moving! I immediately put my umbrella out, “Ms. Are you crazy? Do you want to get sick? It’s raining so hard” I yelled, she didn’t bother to look at me but I guess she’s mute? She didn’t hear me and didn’t utter a word. Okay, I know over thinking?
Out of my curiosity, I stayed with her, old ladies started to talk about her. Again out of my curiosity, I’ve eavesdrop. “The reason, that girl never left that place is because her fiancé told her to wait for him till he comes back” said the old pretty lady “But the thing is, she couldn’t remember anything, what had happened in the present nor in the past. The only thing she could remember is to wait for her one true love” said the other pretty lady. What a very sad story, but how in the world could she know that years had passed?
I lay my back on the bench, so unfortunate. She lost all her memory except for that very moment. I guess it’s one of the happiest day of her life. Waiting for her man. But where is her man?
“I heard that her boyfriend didn't knew she had an accident, so both of them lived a different life” said the old pretty lady. Okay, that’s definitely unfortunate. Not knowing that the girl of your dreams had an accident and you never had a clue! That’s pretty weird! I bet he knows, he just gave up! With click of a hand she disappeared in front of me. So I ran to find her, where is she going? Good thing she didn’t went that far. I followed her. Not in a creepy stalker way but just simply following her.
After long hours of walk, she stopped to walk. My heart beats so fast, maybe she knew I was following her. So I stepped back, but she didn’t notice me at all, she just stood there, in front of a restaurant, a fine restaurant. In a glimpsed, her tears fell, I wanted to comfort her, but it’s just weird, comforting a stranger.
Again, out of curiosity, I slowly walk towards her and check out a sight of why she’s crying.
And there she was, staring at a couple, her hands stretching at the glass. She weep so hard that I couldn’t see her face anymore. I bet that guy is her boyfriend. What a jerk? How in the world does he not know that his girlfriend was in an accident. And what’s worse she left her with another woman.
She turned back, sat down slowly as she hit her head with her hands. I guess, it hit her, she may loss her memory but not the feeling. At that very moment, I felt pity on her. I don’t know her story or what’s she’s going through but those tears are just so sad. With all my guts, I offered my hand and gave her my handkerchief. When she looked at me, she seems a little bit shocked. She bowed her hand and said thank you. I laugh, “Well, you’re not mute after all” her tears still flowing from her cheeks. I smiled “Don’t cry, if you cry that much, you’re going to look like the old wicked witch of the west” she smiled at me a little bit startled and said “Thank you” without any further ado, she left. She was running so fast she dropped her bracelet. A broken shaped heart bracelet and that was the last time I saw her. I never saw that girl in the train station ever again.
December 1985, after how many years, the girl who still wears her Ballet Shoes, on that train station is once again standing in front of the train doors. But this time, she ride in.
I immediately followed her, “So who decided to ride on the train huh?” I said. She was a bit flustered when she saw me “Do you know me?” she asked. Oh well, someone who had lose her memory before may not have a sharp memory at all. But my heart beats so fast I don’t even know why. As I stare at her, everything went on slow motion. It’s like I’m inside a hypnosis and I can’t move a single muscle. There’s something strange about her, I think I know her but I don’t know where. Not because I saw her on the train station. This is the first time I ever lay my eyes on her, as in face to face.
They we’re high school sweethearts. They plan of living together as one before he went to the army. “Remember December, This is for you my love, the other half of my heart is here on your wrist, so you that you’ll feel that my heart beats only for you”
“But why just half?” she asked
“Because the other half is already trap in your chest” pointing on her chest. She smiled, as her tears fell from her chubby cheeks “Don’t cry, if you cry that much, you’re going to look like the old wicked witch of the west” she removed her Rosary bracelet and gave it to him “He would protect you all the time and I know He’ll lead you to me”. He gave her a hug, before he ride on the train, “Wait for me here, at this train station okay, and then we’ll go to our favorite restaurant and eat all the food we can eat okay! I love you!”
She kissed him goodbye, and it’s the last time she will ever see that face again.
A year after he went on a military service, a mortar attacked his camp leaving him comatose for a year and a half. She waited for him, but unfortunately he didn’t remember any of his past life. Not even she, the love of his life, all he could remember is his past life. As if all of his memories of her since they we’re teenagers we’re forever forgotten.
He left her without any trace. But she still waited, waited patiently that she almost gave up, but one night he came saving her.
“Do you remember me?” she asked me. I was just staring at her, the sadness had filled her eyes over again. “I’m Ella by the way, in case you see me again on the street don’t mind me at all okay” she smiled. Seeing her walk away hurts my heart so much, that my brain cells wanted to go out and call me stupid! I followed her “Ella wait!” she stopped. Slowly I walked toward her “I guess I remember” I said, showing the bracelet she left the last night I saw her “This is the half of my heart” wearing it to her “I will place it on your wrist so that you’ll feel my heart beats only just for you alone” I said, her tears fell “Why just half?” she asked “Because the other half is with you, and I guess that’s the reason why I wanted to stay with you because my heart knows you”
“In my head you’re just the girl in front of the train doors. But my heart keeps yelling at my brain that she’s the key to your heart” her tears fell again “Don’t cry, if you cry that much, you’re going to look like the old wicked witch of the west”
I put my sleeves up, “Look He’s guiding me onto you”
I don’t know how, I don’t know why, but I guess destiny had been a little bit cruel to the both of us, she didn’t know, I didn’t know. The stories about her losing her memory was actually my story. I was actually a jerk for running away. Staring at her eyes, I can say I am the luckiest man on earth to have her beside me all the time. She didn’t gave up on me. It’s funny that I can’t remember anything, but I remember the feeling I have when I said those words to her. I guess that it’s was a miracle for me and her.