Story 2017

I was about to end my life again, but an angel save me.

I was on the depth of my sadness and I want it to end so much. I have nothing to be proud of or something I could shout that I made it. Everything seems to happen all the time. I have no access at everything I want. It’s just repeating and repeating and those voices in my head won’t stop. 

I stood there, at the edge of the roof top, the wind touching my skin, because I felt this is the answer, and I couldn’t help it. My head is screaming! So much pain, that no one could even understand me, and I was delirious! I was about to jump until she held me, pulling me down and hit me in my head!

“Seriously dude! This is your answer!” she shouted! I was about to shout as well but as soon as I saw her I felt like I have nothing to say, I look away “You don’t have the right to stop me in whenever I do and who are you to shout at me, I don’t even know you!” I stood there again and she started screaming.

“Go ahead kill yourself! Jump! Is that the only thing you could do to dry those eyes! Your family might be so sad seeing you this way! If you have something to say, if you have troubles in your mind, say it! Death is not the answer! You’re just going to leave the people who care for you in depth sorrow with you leaving this way” She shut her eyes closed and her ears covered.

I stare at her with a face with what’s the matter with you if I end it today. She immediately looked at me “Don’t just stare at me let’s get inside its cold” She walked out on the door and looked back “What are you still standing there! Let’s go!”

I don’t know what happen but her voice made me follow her. “I am Amanda, and you are” she extended her hands for me to shake “I am Steve. Hello” I said in a monotonic way, she shook my hand and “Well nice to meet you Steve, I hope your stay in the hospital would be cool like mine, I am in Room 307. How about you?” she said smiling “I am Room 311”, “Ooooooh, 4 doors beside me! I gotta go, I still need to drink my meds!” she said as she walked and then went back again, she held my hand “If you need someone to talk to I am open 24/7 and please don’t do this again” she said while pointing the band aid in my wrist “See you Steve!”

I felt annoyed hearing her, what’s the matter with her. But as I could remember her she had so many dark spots all over her body, and her neck had a bandage on it and she was wearing a bonnet and she was so pale. I felt pity for her. She might be battling with her life. I went back in my room as I saw my mother peeling the apple for me, and my father reading the newspaper as if nothing happened. “Where have you been, your mother was looking for you” my father said with a low voice as he slowly fixed the newspaper. “I’ll be leaving, I’ll be back tomorrow noon” he just left without looking at me while my mom just shrugged her shoulders and gave me the apple.

I closed my eyes and wished everything just to end.

“Good morning!” her voice echoed in the whole room. I was sitting on my bed reading, my mother approached her with a smile on her face “Hello Ma’am! My name is Amanda” she said while Amanda’s mother shrugged “I am sorry for my daughter’s nuisance “Oh its okay! Where are you heading to?” my mom asked.

“I am going to have some fresh blood today” she said happily. “Oh, are you okay?” my mom asked “Yap! This cancer is no biggy! Have a good day ma’am!” she looked into my direction “I hope your okay now!” as she waved as if it’s the last.

My mom went closer to me “Who is she?”, “Just someone!” I said grumpily “She doesn’t look just someone” I took a deep breath and just went back to reading.

Every morning she would say hello and ask if I’m fine, she even leaves post it letters on my door just to cheer me up. She should take care of herself rather than thinking about me. I took a walk for while and there she is smiling at me. “Hello!” she waved at me. “Can I join you?” I looked at her grumpily “NO” she followed “Please”, “NO”, and she still followed “I said No” I shouted “Oopsie” she said as she moved back. I rolled my eyes and said “Okay, but please don’t be annoying” she smiled “Okay!”

We sat at the bench at the roof top, she was staring at the sky as she simply asked straight to the point “Why did you tried killing yourself?”

“I told you don’t be annoying”

“You know what, you’re not alone with your problems, you have your family to be with and…” before she finished “Please I told you don’t be annoying”, she still continued as if she didn’t hear me “You know God can hear your cries if only you can” I looked at her with anger she put down her head “I could be with you, I could listen to your thoughts so that….” I yelled at her once again “Shut up! Okay! What are you talking about! Are you really dumb and deaf! I told you to shut up right, God, really if he’s here he could not leave you that sick! I could be with you! What do you mean by that? You’re gonna die anyway! You listen to me, I don’t need your words, you don’t know what I am feeling, you don’t know how it rottens me so just go back to your life or maybe just die”

I walked away with so much anger, I covered my face, I was so mean, and how could I say those words to someone like her. She was so genuine with her feelings but I was there who listened once again to demons inside of me.

I went back to my room and closed my eyes with so much pain crumbling in my heart. It was so painful, there are so many words in my head, and “Please stop” I started screaming. My father came immediately to my rescue but I just keep crying and saying stop. I was banging my head, I was screaming, please let them stop. My mother immediately called the doctor to calm me. As I was trying to open my eyes, I saw her silhouette staring at me but I couldn’t help it until slowly I fall asleep.

I couldn’t remember what happened that day nor what I just did, I was so guilty, I went to visit Amanda’s room, and she wasn’t there but her mom fixing her bed. “Oh hello there Steve” her mom said very calmly, her eyes were so worn out from crying I guess. “Amanda is in ICU, she was found unconscious at the roof top the other day. She will be back tomorrow. You can visit her again” she smiled at me and went back fixing. “Thank you Ma’am. I am sorry”

I went to the ICU to check her out. There she is sleeping with tube in her mouth. She was breathing so helplessly as if she’s running for her life. It made my heart cringe for a moment; it was my fault that’s why she’s there. I left her. I don’t know why but tears fell in my eyes, without noticing it.

The next day she was there. She was smiling. I knock “Hello!” I said “I am going to leave you two alone. Take care of my daughter” her mom said. She looked at me and told me to sit by her bed. “Are you okay?” she nodded “I am sorry for what happened last time” she smiled, she tried to opened her mouth but the tube on her throat is stopping her. “It’s okay you don’t have too” I looked around her room it felt like it was so gloomy.

“I only have few weeks to live” she said as she smile again “Excuse me”, “They say that all the time but here I am alive and okay” she tried so hard to smile and laugh but it made a monster out me. “Why are you smiling? You’re going to die!? Are you that crazy” the curved on her mouth suddenly fades “What’s your problem, if you want to feel in pain, shout it, get it out on your chest! And if my smiling pains go, I really hope it did, because I am happy no matter what I am feeling, no matter if I am struggling. So If you don’t have anything good to say to me. Leave. And if you feel annoyed you should have not visited me.”

Her words are like knives into my chest I looked at her “I am sorry” l left without anything to say for myself. I was stupid, I was so sad, I wanted everyone to feel what I am feeling. I was saved but I didn’t care. I look at how sad my parents were when they saw me in pain. But all I care about was myself, how to end it, how to lose it.

I came to her room once again, I said sorry again. “What is it that you want to say? If you’re in pain, it’s okay, you’re not really alone in this battle. Don’t say that it’s only you, because if you look at everyone they are all struggling. But all of them are struggling their way back in there feet once again.” Her tears suddenly fall “I envy you, because you have the life I wanted. All my life, I was trapped into these walls, being so poor made me feel as if I don’t have anything that I could do to have it. In order for me to live I need money to pay for every bag of blood so that I can continue to breath. And there you were, it pains me how you want to finish your life so badly while I was struggling to have that breathe of life. It’s okay not to be okay, we’re humans, we’re fragile but that doesn’t mean it’s the end. He wouldn’t give it to us if we couldn’t handle it” she took a deep breath “Your family loves you, they wouldn’t be there for you if they don’t. Tell them your worries, let them understand it”

My tears suddenly fell as I listen to her words. “Oh come here little boy, you can cry on my shoulder” I hugged her. Yes I did, for a moment all my troubles seem to fade away. She sang if my love can be the cure by Lady Gaga and started laughing. “If I can’t find the cure, I’ll fix you with my love, and even if you say you’re okay I’m gonna heal you anyway, I promise I’ll be the cure” I wiped my tears and joined with her with her singing.

When I went back to my room, I looked at my mom and dad and told them “Thank you for still raising this stubborn child of yours, and I am sorry for making you guys worried.” My parents hugged me and started teasing me.

Every day, I would come to her room and read her stories; I started to come to our psychiatrist, he said being with Amanda feels like it’s therapeutic. We had her moments but she was still smiling all the way her pain, those few weeks become a month. She was so happy I could feel her vibe but that happiness is was so short as her doctors told her family to be ready because she wouldn’t make it for 3 days.

For the first time I saw her with so much pain she said “Momma, I don’t want to die yet, I have so many things I wanted to do, tell the doctors to heal me again, they always say that I couldn’t make it but why just 3 days can’t the extend it.” She held her mom’s hand as she pleaded “Momma, tell God to extend my life, let’s give more eggs, or lets give more money to the church so that they could pray for me” and her cries become louder “Momma, I am so scared”

My heart was liked hit a dozen of times, after for so many years, I knelt down before Him, “How could you take her happiness away that fast, she wanted to live for more” my tears went falling “I am praying to you, please just please let her live for more.” I was crying, I was pleading.

I wiped my tears away as I held her hand “I am praying for you to lead into a better life” I took a sigh why are you worrying about me, you should be praying for your life”, “Your getting grumpy again, I have lived the life that I wanted, He gave me so much extensions. It’s just that I met you this late” she looked at me “I want you to lead a better life, a person you could be proud of, no matter how many flaws you have because you are my best friend” I couldn’t help but to cry “Amanda”, “I know you’re going to be fine.  And if you tried killing yourself again I will haunt you and scare the shivers out of you”, “I promise”, “Pinky Swear”, “Pinky Swear!”, “I can feel it you’re going to be an inspiration!”

“Is there anything you want to do that you haven’t” I asked “Don’t laugh okay!”, “Okay!”, “I want to have my first kiss” and I laughed “You promised!” she said laughing “Really Amanda! Really! Your funny” I said “I know but…….” Before she could finish what she was about to say I kissed her.

She looked at me, I looked at her, and I kissed her again, and kiss her more and kissed her gently. After that we both started laughing. “So that’s what a kiss is” I said “It was no fun at all” she said “Really! That’s it” she said as I laughed at her.

“If I can't find the cure, I'll
I'll fix you with my love
No matter what you know, I'll
I'll fix you with my love
And if you say you're okay
I'm gonna heal you anyway
Promise I'll always be there
Promise I'll be the cure (be the cure)” and we both started singing.

She was right, I wouldn’t be in this position where I am sharing to you guys the angel that saved me. I thought I was alone, so I kept in myself but we need help. We should not be scared. You are not alone in this situation. If you’re feeling this kind of melancholy that you feel like there’s no one to save you, seek for help, ask it, because there will always be someone to be there for you to listen. Hold that hand that is willing to hold you.

Remember that you are precious. You are needed. You are important. And I will be here to listen.

Sharing this short story I wrote way way back in college. Just added some arrangements and added some Lady Gaga's song. If you have someone close to you who is suffering from depression do not hesitate to help them. And for my dear friends, seek for help, we are here to listen, you can call on their hotlines, don’t be afraid. 

#MentalAwareness

Mr. Star, Hello! by Janine Kaye

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Caitlyn who believed that stars can make her dreams come true. Every night she sits beside their window, close her eyes and whispered with her heart “Dear Mr. Star, there you are so far, wishing on you that one day this dream would come true. I’ll be waiting for that perfect day even if it took me hundreds of days.”

She was bright and small. She give thanks to everything she has and never asked for more. Her classmates used to call her baby, for believing in such impossible dream. But she never give up and ask Mr. Star every night “Dear Mr. Star, there you are so far, wishing on you that one day this dream would come true. I’ll be waiting for that perfect day even if it took me hundreds of days.”

Caitlyn never stopped dreaming. She wished to be a princess and dance into a ball wearing her beautiful crown. But she guessed Mr. Star is a little bit busy, so she made her paper crown and dance in front of her grandfather. She wished to be taller but she guessed Mr. Star was again busy, so she wore her mom’s high heels. She wished to be pretty but then again Mr. Star was too busy to hear her, so she asked her mother to tie up her hair. She didn’t give up she wished and wished and wished but Mr. Star didn’t hear.

One night, she stare at their ceiling thinking what she should do to make Mr. Star grant her wish. She closed her eyes and breathe deeply. Slowly she opened her eyes and didn’t believe what she saw. She was lying on the clouds and it looked like a giant cotton candy. She touched it, how soft it was, where am I? What am I doing here? Am I dreaming? She pinched her arms thinking that this was all just a dream. How could she get here? As soon as she stood up, a light shines above her, because it was too bright to see she ended up following it's light rays. And there Mr. Star shinning on her, because she was too happy to see him, she tried to reach it and trying to touch it, but before she gets close the clouds suddenly move away from one another. She stare at Mr. Star and without further ado, she jump over the next cloud. Her heart is beating so fast, she wanted to get close to Mr. Star.  But a strong wind is pulling her away from it.  It seems like the star was out of reach, so near yet so far. “Caitlyn” a voice, so familiar but she ignores it, she was so focused on the star that she badly wanted to touch it, she wanted to feel it and slowly she walk closer to Mr. Star, reaching her hand “Caitlyn”  that voice again, quite annoyed she walk more steps and poof, she fell.

Her hand stretched, reaching out, but she’s already falling, it was too late, the clouds covering it's shining light, all she could see was darkness but that voice keeps calling her name, echoing on her ear. 

“Caitlyn” bang! She fell from her bed “Caitlyn! You better get up, it’s 12:00 in the afternoon! Day dreaming is over!” her mom scolded. “It was just a dream" she looked at her clock  "Thank goodness, ouch my head hurts” she looked up, glowing in the dark stars loose it’s glow as the sun lights lightened her room.

After finishing all her chores at home, she had a frown on her face, thinking what’s more to chase? Mr. Star couldn’t hear me, do I need to give up this dream? I only wanted one thing? Is it too hard to give? 

Questions, questions, questions, why Mr. Star, why? I believed in you? Even if everybody thinks it’s crazy. But I do hold on to you? I did a lot of effort not to be sad and pursue the paths I wanted to take but why Mr. Star, why?

She sat by the stairs and tears fell over her face. Her grandfather saw her and sat down beside her “What’s the matter dear child?” he asked “Nothing grandpa” she answered “Nothing but why a frown on your face?” he took her on his lap and told her story “When I was your age, I also love staring at that big windows of ours wishing and wishing that one day the dream I am wishing would come true” Caitlyn wiped her tears away “Really? What happened?” she asked “Well, my friends got the dream I wanted to have” he said with a smile “Mr. Star didn’t give it to you?” she asked with anger “He did, but it took me years to realize that the gift I wanted to have is already in front of me”

“You didn’t even know?” Caitlyn asked “Because I was looking at a bigger picture I didn’t notice it”

“So what happened?”

“I took a step forward and ask her to be my wife”

“Grandma is your dream?”

“Not just a dream but a dream come true”

“But I don’t want to get married it still beyond my reach. And I’m only thirteen”

“I know, what I’m saying is, maybe Mr. Star would give his gift to you by the time you are ready to face the challenges of life. Or you don’t notice it. Just stay positive and dream that dream and you’ll never know it’s already right before your eyes” her grandfather said as she tap her in her nose. “Oh by the way, I have a surprise for you”

He took out a pink wand and click its bottom and said “Taran! Look Mr. Star had landed in the market and I guess he wanted you to hold him until that moment when you finally reach your dream”

“Wow! Thanks grandpa! I always wanted to be a fairy someday!” she hugged her grandfather and ran upstairs “Caitlyn”

“Yes?”

“To make its power work, wish your heart’s desire and click it’s bottom and circle it around your head and say ‘I wish, I wish, I wish! I wish with all my heart and faith, I wish to you my greatest dream’ and tell Mr. Star your dream is”

Years had passed, Caitlyn who loves to look at Mr. Star, sat by their old window once again, she

closed her eyes and wished “Dear Mr. Star, I know you can hear me and I know your always there, all I wanted to say is thank you for guiding me all the way”

She took her wand, whispered “Grandpa, I miss you, I’m already grown up and little by little I’m exploring my dream. You we’re right, it’s just right before my very eye all I just need is to move and take a step forward. Look, I still have Mr. Star beside me and you up there shinning bright on me”

She stood up “I wish, I wish, I wish! I with all my heart and faith, I wish to you my greatest dream, please guide me through this path of dreams that if I miss the chance to hold my one star, I would have the chance to take a step to reach the sky” and she click it’s bottom and circled it around her head. She never stop believing until that very moment she had touched the sky.

Miracles of December :) by Janine Kaye

Miracles of December

It was year 1968, December 1968, after the war, a lot of things change. Well, maybe for me, I was a part of the military services during that time. And I guess I am pretty lucky, I was one of the survivors when a mortar attacked our camp.

It was Monday morning, first day to start something new. Since everything was a bit new, I saw something peculiar, rather someone peculiar. She seems on her 20’s, petite and wear ballet shoes. She was just standing in front of the train doors, not waiting for someone, nor trying to get in, just standing.

She was pointing her feet backwards and then forward. Staring at the ground and then looking at the sun. I didn’t bother to look at her anymore, so I rode at the train and noticed sadness in her eyes.

After a long day of work, I saw her again, standing at that same position. Waiting? Not waiting? I don’t know.  What is wrong with her? I asked myself. Oh well, generation today, a bit weird, so strange. So I pass by her thinking she’s crazy, yes I know what a jerk am I? Maybe she’s just afraid of trains. Oh I’m so judgmental!

The next day, she was still there. But now, wearing a floral dress and her ballet shoes. I’m guessing she’s a ballerina, or maybe she just loves wearing those kind of shoes! Her aura was a bit different than yesterday. It was more joyful compare to what I saw in her eyes that day. Again, after a long day of work, she was there again, standing at that same position. NEVER MOVING.

Days and days had passed, she was still there. She never moved her spot. Just there, waiting, not waiting. I smiled, maybe she’s waiting for her boyfriend or maybe her boyfriend dumped her because she’s clingy. Good thing that the people don’t mind her at all. They pass by her thinking she’s just a living ghost.

Days become months, and she was still there. What is she thinking?

The rain is pouring so hard, she’s not even moving! I immediately put my umbrella out, “Ms. Are you crazy? Do you want to get sick? It’s raining so hard” I yelled, she didn’t bother to look at me but I guess she’s mute? She didn’t hear me and didn’t utter a word. Okay, I know over thinking? 

Out of my curiosity, I stayed with her, old ladies started to talk about her. Again out of my curiosity, I’ve eavesdrop. “The reason, that girl never left that place is because her fiancé told her to wait for him till he comes back” said the old pretty lady “But the thing is, she couldn’t remember anything, what had happened in the present nor in the past. The only thing she could remember is to wait for her one true love” said the other pretty lady. What a very sad story, but how in the world could she know that years had passed?

I lay my back on the bench, so unfortunate. She lost all her memory except for that very moment. I guess it’s one of the happiest day of her life. Waiting for her man. But where is her man?

“I heard that her boyfriend didn't knew she had an accident, so both of them lived a different life” said the old pretty lady. Okay, that’s definitely unfortunate. Not knowing that the girl of your dreams had an accident and you never had a clue! That’s pretty weird! I bet he knows, he just gave up! With click of a hand she disappeared in front of me. So I ran to find her, where is she going? Good thing she didn’t went that far. I followed her. Not in a creepy stalker way but just simply following her.

After long hours of walk, she stopped to walk. My heart beats so fast, maybe she knew I was following her. So I stepped back, but she didn’t notice me at all, she just stood there, in front of a restaurant, a fine restaurant. In a glimpsed, her tears fell, I wanted to comfort her, but it’s just weird, comforting a stranger. 

Again, out of curiosity, I slowly walk towards her and check out a sight of why she’s crying.

And there she was, staring at a couple, her hands stretching at the glass.  She weep so hard that I couldn’t see her face anymore. I bet that guy is her boyfriend. What a jerk? How in the world does he not know that his girlfriend was in an accident. And what’s worse she left her with another woman.

She turned back, sat down slowly as she hit her head with her hands. I guess, it hit her, she may loss her memory but not the feeling. At that very moment, I felt pity on her. I don’t know her story or what’s she’s going through but those tears are just so sad. With all my guts, I offered my hand and gave her my handkerchief. When she looked at me, she seems a little bit shocked. She bowed her hand and said thank you. I laugh, “Well, you’re not mute after all” her tears still flowing from her cheeks. I smiled “Don’t cry, if you cry that much, you’re going to look like the old wicked witch of the west” she smiled at me a little bit startled and said “Thank you” without any further ado, she left. She was running so fast she dropped her bracelet. A broken shaped heart bracelet and that was the last time I saw her. I never saw that girl in the train station ever again.

December 1985, after how many years, the girl who still wears her Ballet Shoes, on that train station is once again standing in front of the train doors. But this time, she ride in.

I immediately followed her, “So who decided to ride on the train huh?” I said. She was a bit flustered when she saw me “Do you know me?” she asked. Oh well, someone who had lose her memory before may not have a sharp memory at all. But my heart beats so fast I don’t even know why. As I stare at her, everything went on slow motion. It’s like I’m inside a hypnosis and I can’t move a single muscle. There’s something strange about her, I think I know her but I don’t know where. Not because I saw her on the train station. This is the first time I ever lay my eyes on her, as in face to face.

*************************************************************************************

They we’re high school sweethearts. They plan of living together as one before he went to the army. “Remember December, This is for you my love, the other half of my heart is here on your wrist, so you that you’ll feel that my heart beats only for you”

“But why just half?” she asked

“Because the other half is already trap in your chest” pointing on her chest. She smiled, as her tears fell from her chubby cheeks “Don’t cry, if you cry that much, you’re going to look like the old wicked witch of the west” she removed her Rosary bracelet and gave it to him “He would protect you all the time and I know He’ll lead you to me”. He gave her a hug, before he ride on the train, “Wait for me here, at this train station okay, and then we’ll go to our favorite restaurant and eat all the food we can eat okay! I love you!”

She kissed him goodbye, and it’s the last time she will ever see that face again.

A year after he went on a military service, a mortar attacked his camp leaving him comatose for a year and a half. She waited for him, but unfortunately he didn’t remember any of his past life. Not even she, the love of his life, all he could remember is his past life. As if all of his memories of her since they we’re teenagers we’re forever forgotten.

He left her without any trace. But she still waited, waited patiently that she almost gave up, but one night he came saving her.

*************************************************************************************

“Do you remember me?” she asked me. I was just staring at her, the sadness had filled her eyes over again. “I’m Ella by the way, in case you see me again on the street don’t mind me at all okay” she smiled. Seeing her walk away hurts my heart so much, that my brain cells wanted to go out and call me stupid! I followed her “Ella wait!” she stopped. Slowly I walked toward her “I guess I remember” I said, showing the bracelet she left the last night I saw her “This is the half of my heart” wearing it to her  “I will place it on your wrist so that you’ll feel my heart beats only just for you alone” I said, her tears fell “Why just half?” she asked “Because the other half is with you, and I guess that’s the reason why I wanted to stay with you because my heart knows you”

“What?”

“In my head you’re just the girl in front of the train doors. But my heart keeps yelling at my brain that she’s the key to your heart” her tears fell again “Don’t cry, if you cry that much, you’re going to look like the old wicked witch of the west”

I put my sleeves up, “Look He’s guiding me onto you”

I don’t know how, I don’t know why, but I guess destiny had been a little bit cruel to the both of us, she didn’t know, I didn’t know. The stories about her losing her memory was actually my story. I was actually a jerk for running away. Staring at her eyes, I can say I am the luckiest man on earth to have her beside me all the time. She didn’t gave up on me. It’s funny that I can’t remember anything, but I remember the feeling I have when I said those words to her. I guess that it’s was a miracle for me and her.   

Meeting Darth Vader Last Part by Janine Kaye

“Hey, are you okay” I asked “Yes, thank you for bringing me here” I sat beside her as she turns her cup of coffee on her hand “I’m Anakin’s mother, we’re not actually on the same age range Henry. I did it because of my job and career. I was such a pathetic mother! I used to be an actress on theatre plays until I have Anakin. My boyfriend who was also an actor left me when he found out that I’m going to have a baby with him. And because I should not say anything about my pregnancy, because it would affect my career.  My mom and I discussed that we should keep the baby as my sister. Anakin was always sick, she grew up from hospital walls. I could always remember that day she found out that she was my child. She was so angry at me that she ran away and you know what’s funny, she sends a letter on to my door and told me ‘If in case you look for me, I’ll be at the opera house’” her tears fell as she was talking about Anakin. “The doctors said she’s going to be fine, but she didn’t, she always had relapses. One day she told me that she wanted a normal life, find a job, and make new friends. I was against it, but she begged me, ‘Mom please’ and that was the first time she called me mom. Who would hesitate to give her that one wish? She suffered a lot, she had applied different jobs and pushed herself to be the best she could be but every time she does it, she always fail. But you know what she never gave up. She said that impossibilities can make us stronger than what we think we are. People might say that she’s crazy at least she had test through her limits. And then she met you, she really liked you Henry, so much. But she was afraid to fall for you because you wouldn’t understand. Last four years ago, she went back to the hospital and told us she wanted to be better, she wanted to be better not just for us, for herself but for you too Henry. It’s funny right, it was destined that you and I worked at the same company for four years and watch you grow into a fine young gentleman. You are Anakin’s hero and even if she’s so weak, she wanted to see you for the very last time.”

I can’t help but to suffer seeing Grace cry in front of me and worst hear those words from her. I felt that it was my fault too. If only I could change back time and tell Anakin that I was so happy to see her, but everything is too late. I took all the strength to sat beside her and tap her on her back “How about your Boss, does he know all about this?” “Yes, he knows everything about Anakin and treats her like her child and he’s coming back from the States to see Anakin”

When my boss arrived to comfort Grace, I went back to see Anakin’s condition. How did you remain so strong despite of your condition? Why didn’t you tell me what you have been through? I look at her fragile little body as I touched the veins on her hands and arms. “You have suffered so much and here I am healthy and strong, you’re right from the start, I should not be complaining with my life, because here you are battling your life to the test. I’m so sorry”

From my behind, Mrs. Okleary tapped my back “Anakin must be so happy to see you beside her. I know that’s she is so excited to hear your voice all over again” Mrs. Okleary held my hand “Henry, I am glad that you’re here.” She took a small envelope on her pocket and gave it to me “Anakin wants me to give this to you as soon as she leaves our place but I guess it’s too unfair for you, so I’m giving this to you now.” She held my hands tight as she left me inside Anakin’s room.

Henry!

Okay it’s been really weird that I’m writing this to you now. You know we have long chats and walks nowadays and I completely like it! Especially the non-stop messy ice cream eating of yours which makes you less attractive! Bwahahahaha! Anyway since you’ll be reading this anytime soon, I am happy to announce that I have decided to be your one and only Darth Vader as soon as my uncontrollable weakness is done. I promise you that I’ll be good, better and best! Not to mention I’ll be prettier as soon as you see me and your eyes will get magnetize to my gorgeous look.

Henry! When that happiness of yours comes, don’t forget to grab and take a hold of it! Don’t ever let it go! Because if it’s too late, it’s too late. So smile and forget the tragedies your heart have been honing this past few years! Okay!

And one more thing! You’re one of the best SUPER HERO I have met in my entire life! Not to mention your musical talents! You don’t need a cape to be a hero all you need is strength and all the good vibes in world!

Anakin the Darth Vader

PS. Please Miss me when I’m gone but don’t make a career out of it! J

I held the letter beside my heart as I burst into tears. Silly child, why think of others, you should be thinking of yourself. You should be better so that you can still see the smiles they have whenever you are near. Anakin, I don’t know what I will do if I lose your pixie dust.

I lay close to Anakin as I watched her breathe and it was one of the most beautiful things I have seen in my entire life. She’s just like sleeping beauty, despite of her pale lips and skin, she’s beautiful.

Days had passed, weeks had passed, Anakin’s making progress, and I sat there waiting for her to wake up. I brought my old violin as I play different songs I have learned and play when I was younger. Once again, I held her hand, I closed my eyes and pray that she could live. Live longer and have a brighter future ahead of her. Slowly I whispered in her ears, “I’m not giving up on you as long as you hold my hand and never let go. I love you!”

I stood up and started playing the violin. I couldn’t imagine what happened that moment. Is it just a dream or what? “Henry” she whispered “Henry” she called again. I stare at her, her eyes wide open, Grace started screaming, Mrs. Okleary called the doctor and there I am, standing and there I saw the one of the best beautiful smile in the world.

“Hello Darth Vader!”

“Henry! Can you please play for me? I missed the songs you play when I was asleep”

“My pleasure”

After the mini celebration, Grace took a photo of all of us together with Anakin. “Mom, I want to sit” Grace out of shocked, looked at me as we slowly let her sit. “I saw this in my dream. This exact moment, where everybody I loved is here. You, Mr. Dad, Mom and Henry we’re all having fun, having no worries and just smiling” Grace and Mrs. Okleary can’t help but to tear “Honey, we’ll be happier if you’ll get stronger, so that we could go home and search for job” Anakin smiled. “Really?” despite of the pain she’s enduring, she still managed to smile and talk. “Okay, enough with some dramas on a count of three say CHEEEEEEEZEEE”

I was staring at Anakin’s brown eyes, her smile seems to not fade away. Grace, Mrs. Okleary left the room to get some fresh flowers down the hall. As I sat down beside her and slowly held her hand “How’s my one and only Darth Vader?”

“You’re not angry anymore?”

“Of course not! Why would I?”

“Because I’m sick? You’ll feel miserable if you’re still angry to a poor child like me”

“Correction, you’re not a poor child, you are a strong fine woman”

“Wow! That’s new! Calling me a woman!” she wanted to sat down “Henry could you stay beside me for a while” I sat beside her laying her head on my chest “Henry, thank you! You’re really my hero! And I tell you you’re way hotter than Henry Cavill! You know what, I heard your voice when I was asleep. I really wanted to see you so badly, so I really tried my best to wake up and see you and everybody! And I did!”

“Yes, you did! That’s why we’re all happy and celebrating! But No Anakin, Thank you, you are my inspiration in making my life well. You made the dreams I never thought I have. You’re the reason why I strived hard to be the best person I am. You are my superstar”

“Really?”

“Yes, you are one of the most inspirational people I would ever know in my entire life. You are my hero” she smiled as I kissed her forehead “I can say that this is way better than all of my other dreams! This is one beautiful dream” Anakin said.

5 years later

“That performance is superb!” Grace running all the way from the backstage together with my Boss. “Wowhowoo! Slow down! Baby bump alert!” She gave me a hug as she kissed me like a child “Don’t worry! My knight and shining armor is beside me” “Yap! She’s so excited to see you that after the performance we run like a wind! Congratulations Henry! It’s really a good thing I have accepted you in my company 8 years ago.” “And we are so proud of you!” Grace added.  

“Thanks Grace! I wouldn’t have done this without you!”

“Well, I just have the venue! You have the talent!”

“Oh my son! My Henry! Look at all this! It was just a part of your dream! Now it’s all happening” my mom said as she gave me tons of hugs and kisses. “We’re so proud of you!” as Mrs. Okleary tapped me on my shoulders “Sorry to interrupt Mother and Mom” Grace said “But Henry, I think you’ll need this, she would be happy to see you holding this!” “Oh yeah! Would you come with me?” “Oh come on! No need! I think it’s better if the two of you would have the time of your life!” “Thanks Queen I mean Mom!” “No, thank you!” “See you at home!”

“Mom! I’ll see you at home okay! Thank you for never giving up on me!” I said “Of course you are my son! I love you just the way you are! See you at home okay!” she said as she kissed me and join Mrs. Okleary “I’ll just have some important matters to attend to”

Rain. Rain. Rain. “Why in the world do you have to ruin my suit? Don’t you know I have a date today?” and before anything gets worst!

“Henry!!!!!!” she yelled

“Ouch! What the?” I turned around, the umbrella pointing at my back, I started staring at that deep brown eyes again. “Hello! It’s raining! You’ll get sick so I brought some umbrella with me!” I smiled. As she put the umbrella on top of me as I slip my hands onto hers as we started walking together.

“How’s the musical concert Maestro? I’m so sorry I didn’t had the chance to watch the live concert”

“I truly understand love, with all my heart. Don’t worry everything went well. They liked every music I did! And this is all for you!”

“For me? You did this all by yourself the only thing I could take from you is this flowers”

“Of course you are a part of it! Look at the plaque of appreciation! You know what, people liked the song I made for you!”

“Wow! I can’t reach you Super Hero! Really they do?! I told you so!” she said as she made a frowning face at me “Hmmmf! I bet all the girls like you so much! Not just because you are entirely handsome but they’re  stealing you away from me!”

“Oh come on Tink! Of course not! You’re my one and only you. That’s why I locked my heart on to you when I say I do!”

“Okay fine, explanation accepted!” We sat by the bay as she lay her head on to my shoulder and watched the sun set “I miss you!” Anakin said “I miss you more than you miss me”

“Henry!” she said with glee“Can you call my name again?” I asked “Henry!” she said “Another one” “Henry! Henry! Henry! Henry! Henry! Henry!” my heart was so happy that I couldn’t help but to be contented. I look at her again “You seem to be so happy huh!” she gave me a smile “Because my Henry is happier” “You think so?” “Yap! When I first met you, you we’re this frown man, who gets a little bit terrified and pissed if I tell a joke. The world is all on your shoulders and now, you are one fine gentleman! And I think you’ll be okay now!” she kissed me on my cheeks, on my forehead, on my hands, on my neck and on my lips. She stare at me “I love you so much Henry! You’ll always be here in my heart” “I love you more than you love me Janika!” and once again she kissed me on my cheeks and slowly she fades away. “I’ll see you in heaven Darth Vader!” I shouted.

“And there I was, walking in the streets of the workaholic place challenging the world with my capabilities, reaching my dreams and never losing hope. Because there’s this person who made me stronger than I could ever be. The girl that I love. The girl that I will always treasure. If only I could get over her I would. Without you near me I feel so alone without your sight or your voice I’m losing this battle. I miss you so much that it killed every tid bits of me. But there you are, whenever I remember you, you never shed a tear nor feel so alone but instead you stood up and let me feel that everything is going to be okay. And I’m doing this because of you Anakin. I will always treasure the memories we share, those 3 fruitful years of our life together. I would never forget but Anakin I hope you’ll miss while I am gone. I’ll see you really soon and this book is for you. Thank you for loving me.” The audience applaud and gave me a standing ovation.

Once upon a time, there was a boy who felt miserable with his own life and met a girl who challenged him to find his destiny and live with it. 


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I hope you guys enjoy reading my short story. If there are any comments, reactions that you wanted to share to me so that I may improve somethings if I'm going to write more short stories just leave a comment on the comment section area.

I'll be sharing more and more stories I have written from the past and poems that made me realize that I made it! So don't get tired of me okay :) Until other short stories to come! :)

Meeting Darth Vader Part 5 By Janine Kaye R. Bernabe

As I lay myself to sleep, I couldn’t help but to smile. Seriously this is so new to me! That silly girl. What is going on with me? How in the world did she did that? What a child? It’s weird but I never smiled like this before, I did, but it was long time ago. It’s as if she hypnotize me to be happy and wanting me to be her more. What am I thinking? She looks way younger than me despite of what she said. She was right, I slept with a smile on face and a light heart and it’s all good.

But there’s one thing I didn’t understand when I woke up is about what Anakin have said. Things went completely different nowadays. Weeks had passed since I have seen Anakin went at the Phantom. Their Café was now own by a different person. The Phantom was now closed. I felt like Anakin just did all of those things just to say goodbye to me. But didn’t quite explain why she left. No trace, no message, nowhere to be seen. Days become weeks and weeks become months and what’s worst months becomes years. I never seen her again that my heart aches whenever I remember her. I felt like I was cheated by a girl who I’d barely know. A girl whose name was Anakin Okleary. But a girl who strike my heart so badly it made an impact on me. Before the months and years passed by, I became a little bit different. I become my old self, what had happened? Why did she left? Isn’t it so hard to explain to say good bye? Are those smiles really meant for me? Or is she feeling the same way I felt despite of her being positive. I was warned by Grace that if I didn’t work harder I’ll be out of the company.

Even if I felt bad for losing someone I never had. I fixed myself all over again. I made myself clear that I’ll be the best man that I was dreaming when I was a child. That I don’t need some flowery messages from a person who barely know me. And I did. After 4 long years I was promoted as the new Team Leader since Grace was now the Vice President of the company.

This time I felt happy all over again. Happy just happy. I stroll to the long paths of the workaholic people holding different papers and newly graduates holding resume’s for job hunting. I never thought I could make it and within 4 years I was promoted.

“Henry!” that voice that sound, my heart starting pounding again and without noticing I look back, there she is. Anakin standing in front of me, waving at me, smiling at me, I wanted to get close to her, I wanted to ask why she left but instead I frown and walked away.

“Henry!” she called, I didn’t stop “Henry!” She called again and I started running “Henry! Henry! Wait for me” it pissed me I looked back again and she was already in front of me panting. “Would you knock it off? Get lost kid!” I said in an angry tone. “Hey calm down tiger! Didn’t you miss me?” she smiled and my anger started too fed up.

“Are you insane why would I miss someone who I don’t even know from the first place?” I said while walking away “Really? I know you miss me, because on that moment you saw me you sparkle like tinker…..” but before she finished I but in “Hey Miss, if you don’t have anything nice to do just get lost okay. I’m a busy man and I don’t have time for your silly nonsense. So could you please stay away from me?”

“But I wanted to spend the whole day with you! I’ll treat you an ice-cream” out of my anger I shouted “Anakin! Don’t you get it! You were gone for four years, no note, no message just gone boom kapeesh! And you expect me to get happy with you all over again! Huh?”

“Yes! Because you are my friend! Friends need to catch up”

“Friends! Even friends say goodbye to one another. Or better yet you just feel that they’re not your friends anymore. Friends? We didn’t even get there!”

“Henry! What’s the matter with you? Does the sun made your head heat up like that!” she laughed

“Anakin! Is this some joke to you huh! I hold her in her arms! I don’t know what you did to me, whenever I think of you I felt this feeling that I haven’t even felt before and here you are again, toying with it! As if everything is joke to you! If you decided to leave, leave now. Don’t ever come back!”

She stared at me “But I didn’t know you felt that way. I’m so sorry. I thought we’re just friends, two people lost in the world and met to fulfill the missing pieces of their heart” She has a point, I’m the only one feeling this way! Didn’t you just heard what she said, you’re friendzone dude!

I let go of her arms made a deep sigh and said “Just go Anakin.” Slowly I walked backwards “Please don’t ever call me again. Let’s all pretend that this day never happen or we never met at all” I was so bitter that I didn’t even look at her again. I was in deep pain. I don’t know what happen but instead of hugging her because I was happy to see her I was just full of bitterness in life. I felt so childish that I ran away from her.

“Henry!” she called I really wanted to look back, but this was my choice and my feet wouldn’t stop from walking away. At that moment, I was the most coward person in the universe! “Henry!” she called for the last time, it was silly of me to wait for the last call but she didn’t.

                                                                                ----------------------------------------

Days had passed after that moment. I was struck by another whirlwind. Would I regret that moment? If only I just controlled it. No, I made my point. Did I? I was questioning myself throughout the process of living did I did what was right? Or I just made a fool out of myself and let a girl suffer because of the words I said. It wasn’t painful at all. Arrrrgh! This so much questioning is killing me.

“Henry!” I was astonished by the voice Grace had given me. I look at her, she was trembling. “Grace, I mean Vice President are you alright?” I immediately take a hold of her because she seems to get collapsed. “Henry, can please bring me to the hospital” her tears suddenly fell from her cheeks as take a grip of my coat “Please Henry”

“Is there something wrong? Does your body hurt?” she just stare at me. It’s weird, because I felt that stare all throughout my body that it make me shiver “Okay, I’ll ask no more questions. Let’s go”

This is the very first time Grace asked me for help. We we’re just mere colleagues, I mean no, where just a boss and an employee. Where the heck is her fiancé? I mean her husband? My boss! Where is he when she needed help? Oh darn! He’s in the States Henry! I was looking at her on my rear mirror, she never stopped crying. Those tears weren’t sign that she was in pain. Is there something going on in her family? Is the President in the hospital? Darn! If he is, those tears are for him. I started driving faster and she didn’t utter any word until we reached the hospital.

I accompanied her as we get in. She was walking so slow, her steps are getting heavier as we walk by, she paused for a moment, and her tears couldn’t just stop. She slowly open the room and everyone seems to be in a panic mode. I don’t clearly see what’s going on. But the doctors and nurse are around this patient and they’re reviving someone. I look at Grace her tears suddenly stop as she almost collapsed. The doctors stop. Slowly Grace, with all of her strength stood up. As soon as she saw her, she ran to her and started crying.

As I took a glimpse of that young child, my heart started to pound. My heart is starting to kill me, what I have saw is beyond my wildest imagination. She started screaming “Baby, listen to me, don’t close your eyes! Listen to me! You promise me, we’re still going to perform on stage for our musical play you promise me! Baby, please don’t leave mommy alone. I can’t live without you” Mommy? Grace? How? But before she knew it her daughter had a cardiac arrest.  “Anakin!!!” Grace screamed.

Anakin, Anakin, wait, what’s going on? Did I hear it right? Anakin? Grace fainted and my flexes moved so fast I have catch her. And as I look at the girl lying on the bed. Time seems too stopped. This couldn’t be. There lies Anakin, lifeless, being revived. Mrs. Okleary went near me, tapped me on my shoulder and carried Grace to the chair. I don’t know what to do, I was staring at the doctors trying to revive Anakin. I immediately held her hand and whispered into her ear as my tears suddenly fall. “Hey! Darth Vader! Please wake up! If you don’t I won’t forgive you at all. Never! Please, remember you still wanted to be a superstar and an inspiration to the whole world. Please hear me” and my knees started to get weak that the only thing I have said was “Help her Dear Lord. I have never prayed to you anymore or trust you because of the instances I don’t understand. I somehow blame you for the un granted wishes I have asked you. But with all my heart, with all my heart Dear Lord Please help her. Give her this one more chance. Give me this chance too. I am praying to you, I have been a bad son to you, but please help her. I will be willing to accept all the outcome but please just for the last time. Help me Dear Lord”

At that very moment unexplainable thoughts had come into my mind. Anakin was wrong, we make bad choices and we regret it, it’s not because we chose them but because we think it’s the only way out. I regret everything Anakin. I regret it all. But is it really all about regret? I was a nobody before she came to my life. It was only me. I never cared for anyone except for myself. I was struggling alone. I was in a huge depression. My anger, frustrations, unanswered prayer, everything was a part of my undying illusions. Anakin can you hear me I regret everything that happened in my life. But I never regret meeting you at the rain, seeing you all flustered and happy while riding your bike, hearing you call my name, I never regret wanting you to stay beside me. I never regret everything from our first meeting to our last. But if you wouldn’t wake up right now I would regret that I could never say that love you from the very start. I was a man full of dreams, but everything had sunk when reality hits me big time that I don’t know how to be happy anymore. Yes I was happy when I got the job, I got the promotion, and I had the car of my own a shelter to live on. It was all a part of my childhood dream. Then suddenly I realize that I don’t even know what my dreams really are until I met you. Please wake up. You told me that I should hold your hand right, so hold my hand now. Please.

The doctors were still doing their best to revive her and all I do was to hold her hand as I cry. But the doctors said it was all too late. “I’m sorry we have done every……” but before he finished I grab the doctor on his suit “Don’t ever say that! You’re a doctor! You’re meant to save life!” Mrs. Okleary stopped me from what I have been doing “Henry, please let go!” “No Mrs. Okleary, she must live, she have tons of dreams to make it happen, and we’re both going to do it and Doctor I am begging you!”

I don’t believe in miracles but I guess, Anakin was a miracle.

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Meeting Darth Vader Part 4 by Janine Kaye

Our routine was the same, she says Henry out loud all the time that it made me so nervous I would like to hide. As if I am seeing a child who is fond of her older brother. But day by day, Anakin started to lose some deliveries that I only see her once in a while. Since its weekend I decided to visit her at their family café near our house. The café reminds me of the movie Serendipity, it structures, formation and unique ambiance made all lovers come to this café; and in the middle of the bar you can see a quote from the movie "You don’t have to understand. You just have to have faith……. In destiny”

While I was looking for a sit, a lady came close to me and ask me what my order is. “Good day, ma’am! I’m looking for Anakin, is she here?” the lady laugh and said “Oh no, you can’t order my daughter she’s priceless” I immediately shook her hand as I stood up. “Nice to meet you ma’am I didn’t mean that way” she tapped my hand as she say “I know, don’t you get a joke? Or I am not a good joker?” but before she called Anakin “Henry!” that sound, that voice, that pitch, it made my heart pound as if I’m going to die.

“Now I know why you make my daughter smile” her mom tapped me once again on my shoulder. “Hi so now you met my mother!” Anakin said with all smiles as her mom left the two of us “You may sit Mr. Henry Barney! What brings you here?”

“Am, Well since it’s a weekend I decided to visit you, I don’t see you very often these days, is delivering such a hard thing to do?” I asked as she made an unsure yet teasing facial expression “So you’re here because you miss me” she blurted it out without even pausing “Of course not!” an immediate answer for a confused emotional misunderstood person like me “You don’t need to shout my man! I could simply really hear those true words from the bottom of your heart. I miss Anakin!” she teased “I just came here to---to---to  che—che---ck you out, if you----u—rrrr---’re okay, if you have a jo----jooob” what’s the matter with me, I’m stuttering without any reason “Okay I miss you too” she smile “Gosh is it hard for you men to say what you feel? So not cool!” but instead of being pissed she just gave me a warm smile as I bow my head “Yes, you’re right, I miss you shouting my name Henry whenever you see me. And it’s kind of new not to see you on the streets this past few weeks”

“That’s what I like! Hey do you have any plans today?”

“No why?”

“I would like you to come with me and visit one of my favorite places here in the vicinity! You wanna come?”

“Sure why not!” she grabbed my hand and shouted, “Mom where going to the Phantom!” “Don’t be late okay!”

“Yes mother! See you later! I love you”

“I love you too! Henry, take care of my daughter”

“Yes Mrs.” I instantly whispered to Anakin’s ear “What’s your family name?” “OKleary” “Well that’s unique”

“Yes, Mrs. Okleary! I’ll bring her back safe and sound”

According to Anakin, the place she loves to visit is around the vicinity. But it took us 30 minutes to get there. “Here it is ‘Ze Phantom’” she said excitedly in French accent “An opera house? Are we allowed to get in?” “Of course, my sister owns this place!” “Your sister owns this place! Wow you guys are so rich!” I said in an awe “Am correction my sister is the only who’s rich! Not me!”

The opera house looks so quiet and relaxing. Anakin run to the stage as she made a courtesy and started playing the piano, the piano piece she played was “Rondo Alla Turca”. I slowly walked through the aisle and take a photo of her while she’s playing. It’s like I’m seeing a woman not a child well she is woman but someone who is so elegant and mature. “Wow! I didn’t know you play the piano!”

“I started playing when I was 11. But I’m not that good, I just love playing the piano. How about you do you know how to play?” I went up to the stage and sat beside her and played “Chopin Waltz #7. Out of her amusement she took her phone took a video and said after I finished playing “This is going to my daily record. You are superb Man child! Do you have other instruments to play? Come on! You can boast now! No one is watching! I saw the violin and started playing Michael Jackson’s smooth Criminal as I dance to the beat.

I didn’t see Anakin’s reaction but all I can hear was her clapping and her fake audience noises “Henry! I’m your biggest fan! H- E – N- R- Y what do you got HENRY!” after playing she went close to me and said “Okay, do play other instruments?” seeing her happy excited I played the instruments I saw on stage. “Wow! Mr. Henry Barney the Man Child! You are a genius! Oh my gee! You are a one man orchestra! Not to mention your sweet charms!”

“Okay young lady, enough of my musical performance, you’ll be paying for me if I performed another one. So why do you like to stay in this place so much? Except the part you’re listening and watching musical performances.”

“I find inner peace in this place”

“Wow! So deep!” she looked at me with hesitation “You want an honest answer?”

“Yap! That’s why I am asking!”

“I have two answer for that question. First is I wanted to be a superstar” she whispered as she laughs “Second, I used to run away whenever I feel unease and hide here for days.”

“Seriously a girl like you would ran away?”

“Uhuh! I even made my mom worried sick about me.”

“And you’re even proud about it! Such a bad girl huh!”

“Of course not! What I’m just saying is don’t fall with this angelic face!” she laughed “I wouldn’t! Don’t you regret making your mom worried because of you and falling for the wrong decisions?”

“No!” she answered firmly. What is going on with her brain? I would never like to feel my mom gets worried about me. “The thing is, I never knew anything about those days, yes I felt bad to make her worry but I can say that decisions I made is not that bad, I mean I didn’t do drugs or be alcoholic person and do puffing all the time. If you just know how trap I am you would understand”

“And you think running away is not that bad?” I teased

“Okay! Okay! You win! Hmmmm… how did you become so well all this time? It seems that you’re not so mean like you show this past few days” she said in an annoying manner! “Okay fine! We’re quits! So could we go back to the topic you have been talking about and let me understand”

“Just simple as this, the people surrounding me wants me to be someone else but because my heart wants something more I tried to loosen up a little. What’s worst is they wanted me to be a person who can achieve what they can achieve! And I am not that person! It’s just that I was made in this world to fulfil their inhibitions in life”

“Tell me about it! I feel that same way!”

“So in order to escape what the world wants me to be I stay here. Watch musical plays, listening to outstanding opera’s without being noticed at all. It’s not that because I did something bad that I regret it. It’s a choice I made the decision it’s up to me how to handle it. It made me a stronger person it made me tough. It made me stand up for what I believe in. Yes, I have hurt her so badly as in real big time. But if I won’t explore the outside world or follow what I feel, I’ll be intensively trap on their care not that I wanted to be on their arms all the time. It’s just that I wanted to breathe so badly I run away. And you know what’s funny, they know I am here, but they didn’t bother me with my serenity. I think somehow they see some sparkling maturity or immaturity in me. I don’t know”

“Wow! You’re so 4 dimensional or something! I still can’t believe you did that! So you also have some rebel girl inside of you”

“Take note! I didn’t rebel! I just float away! If not my time would be forever gone”

“It’s the same thing Kiddo!”

“It’s not!”

“Okay……..  I don’t know if I could understand it clearly but I get your point. In connection to your running away is it because they don’t want you to chase your dreams to become a superstar?”  

 “Kinda yes, well actually I have other reasons why I ran away. HAHAHA But I guess yes. Super Connected! And to be a superstar it’s a long time dream.  I want to inspire someone that’s why I wanted to be a superstar! Isn’t it weird, honestly I just want someone to tell me that ‘you know what you inspire and me, and because of you I didn’t give up!’ so much of dream right!”

“But why didn’t you chase it?”

“I’m chasing it, I have done a lot of auditions if you just know how many it is. It’s just that He will give it to me to that right moment, that perfect timing and that special day. I don’t want to be impatient. I’m just leaving it all to Him”

“To Him? Are you even happy? It’s just one dream and why is it so hard for Him to grant it”

“You know why, because He’s busy granting other peoples prayers, prayers that are far more important than me. And prayers to build back a person’s faith. And before I dream it, He already knew when it’s going to happen not today or tomorrow but one day. And to add one more thing, He wants others, us to learn that not because He didn’t grant it, it’s because He didn’t hear it. Dreams are like destiny. They have that perfect moment that will never let you forget it.”

“You’re not even complaining?”

“No, why would I? My family is beside me, I have a shelter to live on, food to eat, clothes to wear, and someone like you”

“Silly! But He never gave you that one thing you wanted. Like having a proper job.”

“You know what to all the people who rejected me. It’s their lost not mine! At least I learn something from them. And I would never ever gave up on something I really want just because they reject me. Life has full of unwanted crossroads but you need to be tough to face all of it”

“Why in the world are you so positive?”

“Because if not, I’ll be drowning right now. Asking myself what went wrong? Am I do dumb enough to do those things? Why could I not a get a job. Am I not worth it? Instead of thinking those things why not focus on the happiest way I could live in. And life is like a huge test Henry! A test to accept that something’s are not meant for you and a test to be patience for that one thing you wanted the most.”

“I’m so opposite than you are, I question Him a lot of time. I even challenge Him, that if He won’t give such thing I will lose everything. Something like that. I was once a believer but it all stop because the prayers I have been praying for years weren’t granted. I do rebel against it. Honestly I am drowning before you met me. The dreams I have when I was a child became impossible when I grew up. The rejections I have felt makes me feel less of a person. I stumble, I struggle with my own self. I’m asking how this could happen. No one could help me because I feel I am the only person who’s carrying this burden in my whole life. I have the best opportunities that people offer to me but still I felt unhappy. Still I don’t know why I am feeling like this. I seek questions and help from my friends and family but they too don’t understand what I am going through. I feel so alone I wanna fell flat on the ground and never wanted to open my eyes”

Anakin held my hand “Henry, listen, I may not have the power to help you with your problems, but to think of it, its challenge, you battle with yourself, you compete for yourself and it’s you and you alone. But look into brighter side it’s not only you who feel that way. It’s not only you who seek help. You may find it terrifying but it must all start in you. Why not change routine? Why not wake up in a sense of thankfulness? Why not believe that everything you feel will soon fade out. It’s okay to be sad be in a melancholic state but don’t let yourself get trap. Don’t make a career out of sadness. There is always a rainbow after the rain” she smiled

I wanted to believe in every word that she said but here I am looking at her with her tough spirit glowing like a rainbow. “I believe in you Mr. Maestro! If not, I wish that you’ll hold my hand the same way I hold your hand. And even if we’re so far away, remember I will always be here to stay. Just look at the bright side”

I look at her deep on her eyes “Why are you so intellectual with this stuff like this? Are you a psychologist?” she puts put her Polaroid, “since we are on a melodrama state why not take a picture, we haven’t made mini photo-shoots yet. SMILE HENRY!”

As we walked home, Anakin didn’t stop taking pictures of me, of us of her, and made it as if they’re play cards. “Okay, no we are here kiddo! You’re safe and sound!” and she gave me the pile of photo’s she have taken to me, and took one picture of us together and one picture of me “This is all for you. So you would never forget me! And this two will go on my cutie frames. Henry, sleep with a free soul tonight okay, think of happy thoughts and it will lift you to the air”

“Thank you Tinkerbell! I will”

“Oh wait Henry! If one day I’ll leave I hope you’ll understand”

“Why are you saying those things as if you’re going to live or die or something?”

She laughs as she sings “When I’m gone, when I’m gone, Will you miss me when I’m gone”

“Crazy, of course I will miss you. I am now missing you even if I’m looking at you!” I smile with my heart open! “Boom! Just like in the movies! Goodnight Henry!” she said “Goodnight Anakin!”