“I am your
worst nightmare”
ME………..
“Shocked
with what you see?”
The girl
behind those shadowed darkness is me
The girl
that I am afraid of is my own self
“Oh I love
those fear in your eyes,
I guess
Chris didn’t noticed it”
Chris! Yes,
where in the world is Chris?
“What did
you do to him?” I screamed
“Oops,
didn’t I tell you that he works with me?”
“What?”
The seal
started to change colors
Again, the
pain I have felt underneath those waters
Is returning
all over again
I can’t see
a thing
It’s so
painful all I did was to scream
“What a
lovely sight? Seeing you in so much pain
I bet Chris
would be so happy to see you like this,
There’s one
lesson you should learn Jenny
Never trust
anyone even if he/she shows goodness in you”
I was in lying on the ground with so much pain
There I saw Chris
standing in front of me
As pick my
sword and looked at me
“I’m sorry
to disappoint you Jenny,
But
fairytales are over”
Everything
was part of a nightmare
The tragedy
of my own self had began
Curse seal
was all my doing
It was my
own nuisance.
I could
still feel the pain
And I want
to remember what happened that night
But
questions started to prevail
Why am I
even there?
Or who did
this to me
The memories
I have are slowly fading
Every time
the seal changes almost half of a memory fades away.
But all I
know is that Chris had betrayed me
Everything
that the sea has said was true
Ahhh! This
is killing me
I wish that
I am different
That I am
not this girl who sits alone and be called a freak show
I wish I
just accept the things that was said onto me
That I
wasn’t good enough
I wish my
dreams are reachable
So that I
wouldn’t hear people laughing at me because my goals
I wish that
I could achieve it
Not because
they wanted but because I WANTED IT
And I wish….
I wish….
I wish in
all my might that I am I could be worthy someday
But how
could that happen if I am hear locked inside this cell
“Crying is
for kids” he said
“What are
you doing here?” I asked
“Just
checking on you, if you’re already dead?”
“Why are you
doing this? I thought you are my friend!”
“Well, what
you thought is wrong? Not everyone who has a smile on their face is a friend”
“I know that
you’re playing with me, I know that what you say is not true”
“How can you
say that? I tricked you into your own lair”
“Because I
know you’re always going to be here for me”
“How would
you even know that?
Everything
you see here is a part of your own game,
You manage
to control everything in this place
And you made
me who I am now”
“No you’re
lying,
You promised
that you’ll always be here for me
And you’re
always there to save me”
“How
peculiar, you still hold on to those words I said
Don’t you
get it?
I’m playing
with you everything you see here is unreal
I’m sorry disappoint you,
But I guess
you should have believe what the deep blue sea had said”
“I defended
you!”
“But you’re
defending the wrong person!
Oh by the
way, we’re going to crash your kingdom any minute
By that time
you’re going to be dead,
Because the
seal has only hours to go before it turns to black”
Chris locked
the cell, and left me
As the seal
gets bluer
The more I
forget things
I started to
look up on the ceiling
Wondering
why?
I’m getting
crazy
The feeling
of being rot alive is unbearable
I always
dream to have the impossible dream
And the
people, I mean the creatures around me is stopping me
I bang my
head onto the walls
What’s wrong
with me?
I can’t
almost remember anything
Please stop
this pain
My heart
couldn’t handle it anymore
I cry
harder, than I could never imagine
I scream, I
yelled, I shout but no one will ever hear me
I locked my
hand into my face
And felt
hopeless
As I lay
down in the cold ground
Someone had
started to call my name
“Jenny!
Jenny! Can you hear me?”
I didn’t
bother to listen
My mind is
almost turning off
I can’t move
anymore
I closed my
eyes in this unbearable feeling
As the voice
keeps calling me again
“Jenny!
Jenny! Can you hear me?”
It repeated
for almost three times
Until I
snapped out
As I opened
my eyes
I was in a
different dimension
Everything
was white.
“Where am I?
Hello?
Anyone here”
A ray of
light flickering into the white fog
“Hello!”
And before I
could a make a move
A familiar
woman came out of the fog
“Hi darling,
it seems that you’re having a hard time figuring things out”
Of course I
know her!
“Mom, you
are the Queen of the Sun?”
She puts her
finger on to her lips
“I am the
Queen of the Sun; I am here to help you”
“But how
“I am a bit
trap in the cell of danger,
The friend
who I thought is my friend left me
And now my
kingdom is in jeopardy because of me”
“This is
your dreamscape remember,
You can do
anything you want to do in this place
I bet that
you’re grandfather had explained everything to you
Aren’t you
listening again? Daydreaming on your dream?”
“Huh? Don’t
tell me grandpa is the king?”
“In this
world his alive because of your dreams”
“So how in
the world can I defeat myself?
It is in you
whether on how you’re going to defeat her”
“What, I’m
going to die any minute
Because this
freaking seal has only hours to left
And I’m
going to find the answer really soon?
How is that
supposed to be?”
“I believe
you honey,
I know that
you can surpass all of the struggles that is thrown on to you
Listen to
your heart and it will lead you to that right path
And
importantly never give up on a situation you think is unreachable
Because
everything is reachable if you just believe”
“So you just
came to see me to wish me luck?
“Yap, I know
you can do it
Without any
help from me
I’m just
here to watch you
And knock
that brain of yours”
“Mom, does
it mean I’m still daydreaming at this point?”
“I can say
that this world is no longer your imagination
The dream
you have was no longer a part of your fantasies
Everything
you see, hear and feel are real
This world
is the desires you wanted to be a reality
This is a
quest of finding who you really are
It was you
who made this dream a reality
So go on and
deal with it like woman!
Because
you’re other self is trying to replace you on the real world
So go and
I’ll be lighting you!”
“Wait
speaking of lighting
Aren’t you
going to break this curse seal?”
“Aren’t you
listening to me again?”
“Yah I know
it’s up to me,
I’m just
wondering if you’re going to change your mind”
She pointed
at my heart locket
“I’ll always
be your ray of light
I love you,
Do your
best!
I have
placed important stuffs on to you
And make
sure you used them properly”
But before I
said good bye
She fades
into thin air and gave me a kiss on my head.
I feel so
calm
The pain had
suddenly left me
As I opened
my eyes
Adventure
starts now
My
conversation with my mom
Had brought
me back to my kingdom
Everything
that used to be so happy
Is now
polluted with darkness
The bad
energy is scattered everywhere
The black
shadows guarded the whole place
The feeling
was so terrible
The
screaming and cries were felt throughout the kingdom
And all I
see was terror
I don’t know
how I could get in
“MEOW” a
loud growl from behind my back
“JENKINS!!!
You’re here! Chris is right!”
Oh Chris!
Wait till I get my hands on you
I promise
you I’ll make you ugly!
You don’t
know how this broken hearted girl gets nasty
And dear me,
I’m going to let you crash away my dreams
Cause you’re
going down sister!”
I rode on
Jenkins back as we run through the kingdom
As we tried
to reach the castle doors
Shadowed
guards suddenly sprout out from nowhere
Giving
Jenkins some shivers
As she runs
over them
And tossed
me into the air
Giving me a
not so good fall
She looked
at me and talked to me in my head
“Go and save
the kingdom,
We’re all
counting on you!
Don’t worry,
leave this dumb shadows to me”
As I waved
good bye and run as fast as I could to reach the tower.
I did all of
my karate chops on every so called villain I see
And tried my
best to hit every inch of them
As I got
there,
I saw Chris
standing behind the door with my sword.
“Who would
believe, that a rat like you can escape?”
What a
dialogue, he still has the guts to be so mean!
My tongue
started to fuss as the words came out
“And why is
a cat like you is so dumb!”
He walks
towards me, as he pats the sword on his hands
“You know
you can’t make it through?
But here you
are, trying to be everybody’s hero
Risking your
life to the people who don’t actually exist,
And you know
what’s worst is that they trusted this kingdom
To a girl
who can’t do anything but to just day dream”
He laughs,
he laughed so hard that I get pissed.
“Are you
angry now? Or you just want to cry like a baby again?”
I snap out,
I threw a
knife at him but catch it with his hands
“How so
stupid of you to throw the only weapon you have?
Is this the
only thing you got?”
“No, it’s
not!
Because I
can do more than just throwing knife at pathetic man like you”
He moved his
head to left to right
“Really, so
I am pathetic, who is the girl who loves to day dream?
And when
things get worst give up that dream
And drown
herself into her insecurities and cry.”
“You don’t
know anything about me, Chris!
Or what I
feel, or what my dreams are
Because I
believe in myself
Yes, I was
this girl who lack self esteem
And yes, I
am this person who cries herself into sleep
But I won’t
let anyone like you to ruin the things I dream of
I don’t care
what it will take to reach it
Because I
don’t mind if I die trying
I know that
I can make it
And I know
that I can prove you wrong
Because this
time, I’ll be the one who’s going to laugh”
As he gets
closer
“So are you done with your so called speech?”
“Not yet you
jerk!
And don’t
make a single step or else I will break your neck!”
“Hmmmm so
I’m scared now,
Okay let me
hear your lousy cries”
“Lousy?
Really, I just can’t believe I trusted you!
You and your
heroic features
You being so
caring, honest and chivalrous
Made me so
sick that I wanted to slash the heart out of you
The way you
whisper to me
The way you
hold me
All I
thought that there is something within you that I could feel safe
That when
I’m with you I don’t have to worry what’s going to happen
I never felt
like this before to anyone else
And there
you are I barely even know you
All of a
sudden this weird feeling came trembling down
That I
wanted to cry so hard because I feel this way”
He
interrupted “I never told you to fall for it easily”
“I know! But
I did!
Because you
freaking jerk
Made me fall
without you noticing it!
No one had
ever been so gentle to me!”
“Are you out
of your mind?
I am just
playing with you!”
“I know! How
many times to you need to hear it
I know! I
know! I know!
If you just
know how much I wanted to hold your hand
How my heart
pound whenever you’re near
I hate the
feeling that you never feel the same way
That this
was all a part of my midnight dream
I wanted to
hug you so badly
That you
made me so confuse about what you showed me
I know that
you wouldn’t like me
Because I’m
not pretty
And all I do
is to cry and get hurt!”
“Stop this Jenny!
It’s not going to”
“I’m not yet
finish
Until this
freaking feeling is done
I will rant
and rant as long as you get what I feel!
You don’t
know how it feels like because you we’re never alone!
You never
felt being laugh out because you are weird
Or being
pushed away because you are smart!
And for me,
being with someone who actually cares for me
Is something
that I treasure the most!
I know that
you’re laughing inside
Because this
foolish girl had fell into your traps
And that
she’s crying because the guy she likes
Was actually
a hideous monster without a heart
I’m not a
shame with what I am doing
Chris! Yes
I’m in love with you!
And it hurts
so badly!”
He claps,
“You’re really pouring so much emotion
I’m so sorry
but everything you see is a part of a show
So you
better get your knees straight
And fight
with me like a queen
Don’t just
stand there and weep for a guy who doesn’t care
Girls should
not be crying for a jerk like me
Girls should
be pursued!
Not to make
a shame of herself”
I stood up
properly
And tilt my
head up high
“I know
that’s why I am doing the best I can
To make this
battle different from any other battle
And I know
when that time comes
I won’t
regret it”
I took every
gut I got
Took a deep
breath and
I ran
towards him and kissed him
He tried to
remove his head
And as our
lips touched
Slowly his
hands into my waist
And Prick,
“What’s this?”
He’s hands
started to bleed
“What did
you do?”
Slowly he’s
body gets weak
And fell
into the floor
“Hmmm, so
mom had really placed something.
Darn! I
thought I have captured his heart
Oh well,
boys are so easy to handle
And thank
goodness my mom had given me a secret “Sleeping Pin” weapon.
I’m so sorry
my prince,
You have
hurt the wrong girl!”
I opened the
door
I saw the
sword that was placed on the king’s chair
I ran
towards the throne
An electric
shield strike me
Why didn’t I
think about that?
I am the one
who also did that!
“Well, well,
well, I didn’t know you could do such thing Jenny?”
“What?
Running and get electrified?”
As I stare
into myself
This other
me had such black heart
Its dark
aura terrifies me
What a sad
me?
How did I
get so mean?
“Hmmm…
HAHAHA… I’m laughing so hard
Such a
strong person you got in there”
She walks
through circles
As she
looked at my eyes
Crossed her
hands and bend over me
“What a
pity?
You never
had the chance to win in this game!
Just give it
up Jenny!
Because you
don’t know what you’re going to lose in this time”
“I will
never give up you ME!”
“Really,
even if I exchange your life to the people in this kingdom”
She took a
small notebook from behind her back
“Well, do
you remember this?
I bet this
is where you keep your dreams?
And I
believe that once this is crushed
This so
called dream of yours will be all lost
And you will
forever be forgotten
Well, thanks
to me because maybe people will still see you”
“You cruel
monster” I screamed
“Looks who‘s
calling herself a cruel monster!
You’re the
one who created me!”
“Am not, I
would not dare to create you
You, a
monstrous person
Captured in
darkness
Weakened by
happiness
How in the
world will I create you?
I don’t even
picture myself being you!”
“Really,
well sorry to disappoint you,
But I am the
person you always wanted to be?”
“Why do you
keep on insisting that?”
“Because I
can be like everybody else,
Not like
you, nobody likes you!
And the
kingdom you built
Will forever
hated you
Because you
created
Someone
likes me…..”
She took the
notebook
In a single spell “AsioPelatorofocus!”
My small
notebook of dreams burned
And everything
around me turns into a huge black room
As I watched
my kingdom crumpling down
The cursed
seal had started to get worst again
There I was,
I can’t do anything
I can’t even
move
This
freaking seal is killing me
I can see
everything crashing into pieces
All my
dreams… all my inhibitions
Being ruined
by my own self
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