1st weeks of January

Here's a January realization of mine, I walked out the door with a panting heart, thinking of all the doors that closed right before my very eyes... I walked through those pathways and I have memorized it's sizes and shapes And all day long, I knew it would always stay the same as it could...

Then I walked through my favorite mall telling myself, I knew everything about this place, and could even walked with eyes closed as I chase the very moment that I should be there...

As I was walking, I realize that no matter how well I knew about it, no matter what kind of paper town I am in it, there are still things that would shocked me, like I never knew this is here, nor I never knew about this, I have never come across this alley or whatsoever but I am always here like literally here all the time.... the place that I knew for so long no matter how old it is it will always be new...

I wanted to escape so much that I have realized I am already escaping, it was moving for me, it was changing for me... I suddenly become so scared that I neglected the things that was in front of me just because I wanted things to go my way.... and by the time He had taken it away, it shattered me into pieces and made me box myself and for that moment I was trapped with my precious memories that I couldn't let go....

I am aging, the more I get older, I get to scared, I am afraid of the fallen memories.. I am scared about the reason why i should be here.....

Maybe I am scared of what i couldn't do. Maybe I couldn't make it through, I was always running through time that I forget to enjoy the miracles that was showering to me. I have less, I have nothing, but there were JOY and funny because at that moment I was in connection with memories of my once upon a time. I am now crying with tears of happiness I am just so silly not to recognize!

and so we may both have different interpretations of our life continuum, but i know we're both getting there.... no time is running, it's just us who were racing.

Thank you 2018

2018 has been a year full of gratefulness, trials and success.  I'm super thankful with every ups and downs but I am most thankful for the strength and hope that the heavens had guided me through. 

I prayed and prayed for my 2018. I hoped and wish for the smoothest ride, not knowing what could happen, I just went on this journey with a faith in my heart. 

Luckily, my college friend had knocked my creative juices when she asked me for an invitation design for her wedding. I couldn't help but to feel ecstatic and proud in seeing the design for real! What a way to start my January. I'm super thankful to her because she opened me to art opportunities that I wasn't expecting.

January, seems to be a trial and error for me but despite of that, I have come to different clients for art commissions. 

I can say that February did so much for me. I felt that February was like the FIRST MONTH OF MY YEAR. To start my Lovely February, my friends and I went to Tagaytay. 

What a way to start! February was also the start of designing for me. From online shops, to small businesses and to starting businesses, I had the chance to make designs for them. Some designs didn't make the cut, but there are a lot of designs that I have made have been posted. 

I have been designing all year and I am really happy seeing my designs posted. It's like blood sweat and tears! For non-stop changes, for long hours of computer work, all my heart poured into one design, makes me so happy. I feel like creating and doing art for others makes my heart really excited and proud. Not to mention because of this, I had the chance to put food on our table, pay the bills and somehow give little gifts for my family. 

Also in this year, I got the chance to work with my childhood best friend with her shop at Paraluman. I started collaborating with her first by making Cozy Cups and by the middle of the year, I am and now a part of her business. This year, we also have attended 2 bazaars (because of this I had the chance to visit one of my dream destination which is Baler https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ch2QZjSYyBM and the other one is at UP). 

(BALER)

(Bazaar at UP)

mehhheeeeeee

What made my 2018 really heart stopping was when I had the chance to be as a Magazine Design Contributor for Inspire me Korea! It felt like a girl who loves Kdrama is not working as a Magazine Designer for a Korean Magazine! My heart is super happy!

Designing on Magazines is a dream come true for me! I owe it to my pretty bosses Diana and Alice, for accepting me in their company even if it's just a short while. It enhanced my designing to a level that I WANTED. Thank you sunbaenims!

Another milestone in my year is my handmade GOYO dolls (a collaboration I have made for ProyekoPH) being given to Sir. Mon Confiado, Paulo Avelino and Sir Roeder Camañag. 

Another creative milestone is when AC BONIFACIO together with Ivory Records Posted a photo of her and my Chloe (LOGO design) on their page! Happy Lady here!

My 2018 is also filled with reunions! I got the chance to see my friends from Saudi Arabia after how many years, and my college batchmates and friends (COMPLETE PACKAGE hahaha)...... Despite of the longest years we haven't seen each other, the connection and friendship is still burning as if it was like yesterday when we have graduated from highschool/college. 

(High School Friends)

(COLLEGE FRIENDS)

(MAMBA CLAN)

This year was also a fun filled bonding moments with my cousins, and despite of busy schedules and long drive just to see each other, we really made moments together ;) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZaVNgqKEJw8)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZaVNgqKEJw8

Before the year 2018 ended, we had fun exciting memories with my fambam, we prepared games for our family to enjoy and it happened liked a blast! Didn't expect our parents to be as funny and as young at heart as we all do! :) 

My year 2018, was filled with extravagant memories, it has been a tough ride but all I can say is thank you, next!