Saturday, June 21, 2014

Meeting Darth Vader Part 4 by Janine Kaye

Our routine was the same, she says Henry out loud all the time that it made me so nervous I would like to hide. As if I am seeing a child who is fond of her older brother. But day by day, Anakin started to lose some deliveries that I only see her once in a while. Since its weekend I decided to visit her at their family café near our house. The café reminds me of the movie Serendipity, it structures, formation and unique ambiance made all lovers come to this café; and in the middle of the bar you can see a quote from the movie "You don’t have to understand. You just have to have faith……. In destiny”

While I was looking for a sit, a lady came close to me and ask me what my order is. “Good day, ma’am! I’m looking for Anakin, is she here?” the lady laugh and said “Oh no, you can’t order my daughter she’s priceless” I immediately shook her hand as I stood up. “Nice to meet you ma’am I didn’t mean that way” she tapped my hand as she say “I know, don’t you get a joke? Or I am not a good joker?” but before she called Anakin “Henry!” that sound, that voice, that pitch, it made my heart pound as if I’m going to die.

“Now I know why you make my daughter smile” her mom tapped me once again on my shoulder. “Hi so now you met my mother!” Anakin said with all smiles as her mom left the two of us “You may sit Mr. Henry Barney! What brings you here?”

“Am, Well since it’s a weekend I decided to visit you, I don’t see you very often these days, is delivering such a hard thing to do?” I asked as she made an unsure yet teasing facial expression “So you’re here because you miss me” she blurted it out without even pausing “Of course not!” an immediate answer for a confused emotional misunderstood person like me “You don’t need to shout my man! I could simply really hear those true words from the bottom of your heart. I miss Anakin!” she teased “I just came here to---to---to  che—che---ck you out, if you----u—rrrr---’re okay, if you have a jo----jooob” what’s the matter with me, I’m stuttering without any reason “Okay I miss you too” she smile “Gosh is it hard for you men to say what you feel? So not cool!” but instead of being pissed she just gave me a warm smile as I bow my head “Yes, you’re right, I miss you shouting my name Henry whenever you see me. And it’s kind of new not to see you on the streets this past few weeks”

“That’s what I like! Hey do you have any plans today?”
“No why?”
“I would like you to come with me and visit one of my favorite places here in the vicinity! You wanna come?”
“Sure why not!” she grabbed my hand and shouted, “Mom where going to the Phantom!” “Don’t be late okay!”
“Yes mother! See you later! I love you”
“I love you too! Henry, take care of my daughter”
“Yes Mrs.” I instantly whispered to Anakin’s ear “What’s your family name?” “OKleary” “Well that’s unique”
“Yes, Mrs. Okleary! I’ll bring her back safe and sound”

According to Anakin, the place she loves to visit is around the vicinity. But it took us 30 minutes to get there. “Here it is ‘Ze Phantom’” she said excitedly in French accent “An opera house? Are we allowed to get in?” “Of course, my sister owns this place!” “Your sister owns this place! Wow you guys are so rich!” I said in an awe “Am correction my sister is the only who’s rich! Not me!”

The opera house looks so quiet and relaxing. Anakin run to the stage as she made a courtesy and started playing the piano, the piano piece she played was “Rondo Alla Turca”. I slowly walked through the aisle and take a photo of her while she’s playing. It’s like I’m seeing a woman not a child well she is woman but someone who is so elegant and mature. “Wow! I didn’t know you play the piano!”

“I started playing when I was 11. But I’m not that good, I just love playing the piano. How about you do you know how to play?” I went up to the stage and sat beside her and played “Chopin Waltz #7. Out of her amusement she took her phone took a video and said after I finished playing “This is going to my daily record. You are superb Man child! Do you have other instruments to play? Come on! You can boast now! No one is watching! I saw the violin and started playing Michael Jackson’s smooth Criminal as I dance to the beat.

I didn’t see Anakin’s reaction but all I can hear was her clapping and her fake audience noises “Henry! I’m your biggest fan! H- E – N- R- Y what do you got HENRY!” after playing she went close to me and said “Okay, do play other instruments?” seeing her happy excited I played the instruments I saw on stage. “Wow! Mr. Henry Barney the Man Child! You are a genius! Oh my gee! You are a one man orchestra! Not to mention your sweet charms!”

“Okay young lady, enough of my musical performance, you’ll be paying for me if I performed another one. So why do you like to stay in this place so much? Except the part you’re listening and watching musical performances.”
“I find inner peace in this place”

“Wow! So deep!” she looked at me with hesitation “You want an honest answer?”
“Yap! That’s why I am asking!”

“I have two answer for that question. First is I wanted to be a superstar” she whispered as she laughs “Second, I used to run away whenever I feel unease and hide here for days.”
“Seriously a girl like you would ran away?”
“Uhuh! I even made my mom worried sick about me.”
“And you’re even proud about it! Such a bad girl huh!”
“Of course not! What I’m just saying is don’t fall with this angelic face!” she laughed “I wouldn’t! Don’t you regret making your mom worried because of you and falling for the wrong decisions?”
“No!” she answered firmly. What is going on with her brain? I would never like to feel my mom gets worried about me. “The thing is, I never knew anything about those days, yes I felt bad to make her worry but I can say that decisions I made is not that bad, I mean I didn’t do drugs or be alcoholic person and do puffing all the time. If you just know how trap I am you would understand”
“And you think running away is not that bad?” I teased
“Okay! Okay! You win! Hmmmm… how did you become so well all this time? It seems that you’re not so mean like you show this past few days” she said in an annoying manner! “Okay fine! We’re quits! So could we go back to the topic you have been talking about and let me understand”
“Just simple as this, the people surrounding me wants me to be someone else but because my heart wants something more I tried to loosen up a little. What’s worst is they wanted me to be a person who can achieve what they can achieve! And I am not that person! It’s just that I was made in this world to fulfil their inhibitions in life”
“Tell me about it! I feel that same way!”
“So in order to escape what the world wants me to be I stay here. Watch musical plays, listening to outstanding opera’s without being noticed at all. It’s not that because I did something bad that I regret it. It’s a choice I made the decision it’s up to me how to handle it. It made me a stronger person it made me tough. It made me stand up for what I believe in. Yes, I have hurt her so badly as in real big time. But if I won’t explore the outside world or follow what I feel, I’ll be intensively trap on their care not that I wanted to be on their arms all the time. It’s just that I wanted to breathe so badly I run away. And you know what’s funny, they know I am here, but they didn’t bother me with my serenity. I think somehow they see some sparkling maturity or immaturity in me. I don’t know”
“Wow! You’re so 4 dimensional or something! I still can’t believe you did that! So you also have some rebel girl inside of you”
“Take note! I didn’t rebel! I just float away! If not my time would be forever gone”
“It’s the same thing Kiddo!”
“It’s not!”
“Okay……..  I don’t know if I could understand it clearly but I get your point. In connection to your running away is it because they don’t want you to chase your dreams to become a superstar?”  
 “Kinda yes, well actually I have other reasons why I ran away. HAHAHA But I guess yes. Super Connected! And to be a superstar it’s a long time dream.  I want to inspire someone that’s why I wanted to be a superstar! Isn’t it weird, honestly I just want someone to tell me that ‘you know what you inspire and me, and because of you I didn’t give up!’ so much of dream right!”
“But why didn’t you chase it?”
“I’m chasing it, I have done a lot of auditions if you just know how many it is. It’s just that He will give it to me to that right moment, that perfect timing and that special day. I don’t want to be impatient. I’m just leaving it all to Him”
“To Him? Are you even happy? It’s just one dream and why is it so hard for Him to grant it”
“You know why, because He’s busy granting other peoples prayers, prayers that are far more important than me. And prayers to build back a person’s faith. And before I dream it, He already knew when it’s going to happen not today or tomorrow but one day. And to add one more thing, He wants others, us to learn that not because He didn’t grant it, it’s because He didn’t hear it. Dreams are like destiny. They have that perfect moment that will never let you forget it.”
“You’re not even complaining?”
“No, why would I? My family is beside me, I have a shelter to live on, food to eat, clothes to wear, and someone like you”
“Silly! But He never gave you that one thing you wanted. Like having a proper job.”
“You know what to all the people who rejected me. It’s their lost not mine! At least I learn something from them. And I would never ever gave up on something I really want just because they reject me. Life has full of unwanted crossroads but you need to be tough to face all of it”
“Why in the world are you so positive?”
“Because if not, I’ll be drowning right now. Asking myself what went wrong? Am I do dumb enough to do those things? Why could I not a get a job. Am I not worth it? Instead of thinking those things why not focus on the happiest way I could live in. And life is like a huge test Henry! A test to accept that something’s are not meant for you and a test to be patience for that one thing you wanted the most.”
“I’m so opposite than you are, I question Him a lot of time. I even challenge Him, that if He won’t give such thing I will lose everything. Something like that. I was once a believer but it all stop because the prayers I have been praying for years weren’t granted. I do rebel against it. Honestly I am drowning before you met me. The dreams I have when I was a child became impossible when I grew up. The rejections I have felt makes me feel less of a person. I stumble, I struggle with my own self. I’m asking how this could happen. No one could help me because I feel I am the only person who’s carrying this burden in my whole life. I have the best opportunities that people offer to me but still I felt unhappy. Still I don’t know why I am feeling like this. I seek questions and help from my friends and family but they too don’t understand what I am going through. I feel so alone I wanna fell flat on the ground and never wanted to open my eyes”
Anakin held my hand “Henry, listen, I may not have the power to help you with your problems, but to think of it, its challenge, you battle with yourself, you compete for yourself and it’s you and you alone. But look into brighter side it’s not only you who feel that way. It’s not only you who seek help. You may find it terrifying but it must all start in you. Why not change routine? Why not wake up in a sense of thankfulness? Why not believe that everything you feel will soon fade out. It’s okay to be sad be in a melancholic state but don’t let yourself get trap. Don’t make a career out of sadness. There is always a rainbow after the rain” she smiled
I wanted to believe in every word that she said but here I am looking at her with her tough spirit glowing like a rainbow. “I believe in you Mr. Maestro! If not, I wish that you’ll hold my hand the same way I hold your hand. And even if we’re so far away, remember I will always be here to stay. Just look at the bright side”
I look at her deep on her eyes “Why are you so intellectual with this stuff like this? Are you a psychologist?” she puts put her Polaroid, “since we are on a melodrama state why not take a picture, we haven’t made mini photo-shoots yet. SMILE HENRY!”
As we walked home, Anakin didn’t stop taking pictures of me, of us of her, and made it as if they’re play cards. “Okay, no we are here kiddo! You’re safe and sound!” and she gave me the pile of photo’s she have taken to me, and took one picture of us together and one picture of me “This is all for you. So you would never forget me! And this two will go on my cutie frames. Henry, sleep with a free soul tonight okay, think of happy thoughts and it will lift you to the air”
“Thank you Tinkerbell! I will”
“Oh wait Henry! If one day I’ll leave I hope you’ll understand”
“Why are you saying those things as if you’re going to live or die or something?”
She laughs as she sings “When I’m gone, when I’m gone, Will you miss me when I’m gone”
“Crazy, of course I will miss you. I am now missing you even if I’m looking at you!” I smile with my heart open! “Boom! Just like in the movies! Goodnight Henry!” she said “Goodnight Anakin!”

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