I'm sharing this to you because my "unnie" and I had some conversation about life and I couldn't help but to laugh seeing the story I have written this past few years. It's so us, but in a different way and the characters that I have written was somehow based to that person I admire and idolize. Anyhoo! I hope you guys would like it!
MEETING DART VADER
Trust is an issue. Dreams are hard to fulfill. Pain is never ending. What am I going to do with my life? As I lay down myself to sleep, I think about my future. What’s going to happen? Who will I be in the future? How will my life end? Or will I make it to the future? Things like this makes me crazy, I felt that life is so hard on me that I can’t even make one step to make my dreams come true. Where all my dreams went? When I was in school all I have put in my mind is that when I graduate, I’ll be successful just like my parents, but life hit me hard. As in big time! Life is not as easy as 123. That when you wake up in the morning you’re already there. But that is just a long lost dream of a long lost dreamer like me.
Every day I look at the days when everything seems to be so easy, that the only thing you worry about is how you can pass your subjects and crazy homework’s given to you by your heart stopping terror professors. Now, life is so different than school. I have searched for different ways on how to get a job. But I felt that I’m screwing things up. It’s not that I didn’t do my best but those freaking companies won’t accept me. Am I over qualified? Not so qualified? Or I’m just in the middle? Or worst comes to worst they just don’t need me, they just need to practice themselves so that they can be better interviewer.
“Oh come…….” But before I finished what I’m going say, “Oh come on! What could be worst?” a girl screaming at the top of her lungs despite of her soaking wet. “Is this what you got huh? I was rejected by 5 companies this day because they felt that I wasn’t qualified enough, that my speaking voice is not as loud and clear as they want to! Can you hear me? I’m talking so loud that a person beside me would be deaf in a minute!”
I studied her, her pink back pack was covered with mud on the sides, her hair was tied up with a red bow, she fixed herself as she immediately slips her small feet into her boots and wore her yellow raincoat, as she shivers so cutely that I almost locked my eyes on her and she didn’t even notice that there is someone beside her. So she continue “Screw you! Screw you all! Is that what you’ve got? I have failed a lot of times! Did you see me having a hard time? Huh?! Did you see that I’m losing hope! Of course not! Why would I lose it? People might think I’m crazy and so what! This is my life! And I’m going to use it with all my might! Who are you to tell me to stop believing? Screw you monsters! Screw you!”
She slowly lowered her head and whispered screw you monsters over and over again as she make her nails sounds as she closed her eyes and pray “Sorry God, I didn’t mean to be angry it’s just that the world I live in seems to be so cruel”. She slowly lift her head up and said “Fighting” and turn her head to my direction. Quite in a shock, her eyes grew bigger and round “Oh my gee! How many minutes have you been there?” she asked “Quite a while”. She get a little bit closer and asked again “Did you hear everything I said?” out of honesty I said “Unfortunately, Yes”
She scratched her head and turn her head on to the left and never looked back at me again until the rain stops pouring. “Hey, whatever you’re thinking right now, don’t think about it. God has better plans for you” she said as she started running away from me.
I smirked, seriously, where’s her God when she needed Him? She’s soaking wet and 5 companies dejected her and she still has those smile on her face. I bet I’m even older than her. I have screwed more than 5 times than her. And there was no answer from the heavens above that He’ll help me.
I went home with another empty hand. I was clueless. I didn’t get the job that I wanted. I just wanted to drown myself to sleep until I fulfill all my duties.
Another day had begun. Another day of failures and disappointment. Burden with all the pain of hopelessness. I just hate this.
Screech! I was hit by a bicycle.
“Oh my gee! Are you okay? I’m so sorry, I was so happy that I got my bike new pair of wheels that I didn’t notice you crossing the street, are you alright? I hope I didn’t got you bruised, because I don’t have a job and I don’t have money to send you to a hospital and so I’m really begging for forgiveness if you may. And please don’t call the police I am terribly so sorry!”
I was so irritated by her voice that I yelled “I’m okay! So just get out of my sight!” but instead of leaving she put a frown on her face “Oh by the way mister you don’t need to sha-aout, I can completely hear you”. She stare at me “Like oh my gee, you’re the guy from the rain! Hi! I’m Anakin!” what a name for a girl, I was so busy removing the dirt on my shorts that I can’t help but to laugh “Is your mom a Star Wars fan that she named you after Darth Vader and didn’t your mom told you to not talk to strangers?” I laughed. “Hmmm. You don’t look that strange to me. Except for that abnormal frown on your face.” She teased “And nope she said, he’s my father, and that I am born from an ultra-galactic universe and I’m sent from earth” she continued, but I gave her an unapproachable look. “Oh come on, have all the senses of being happy is taken away from you? Yes, my mom loves Anakin so much that she named me after him, well actually from her first love who is unfortunately a dog” I smiled “Well that’s unfortunate”
“But if you don’t like the name, you can call me Janika, well that’s my actual and real name. Anakin comes from Janika except for the J, I really wanted my name to be like a gem, something like Emerald or Sapphire or a Tiffany. It sounds like a princess or a queen to me. And you are?” she asked, raising her right hand “I’m Henry”. She shook my hand and said “Well Henry nice meeting, you seem to look younger than me so I won’t use any honorific way of talking to you. Gotta shoof! I need to deliver this cookies to the store where orders are filling up!”
She disappeared like a whirlwind. What a child? I don’t see anything that makes her older than me. Arggh! So irritating! So early in the morning! I started my so called day by cleaning the house, giving my dog a walk, buying not so early groceries and I went back to bed thinking what I have done? What went wrong? What happen to those precious childish days? I don’t know what to do? I’m trap in this severe world. Where did all of my friends go? Henry, are you dumb? My friends are all successful they had made a name in the business world and here I am trap, stuck, nowhere to be found. Everybody has their own life. My life is a complete mess, even if I don’t suffer from sever drinking or smoking vices. My life was a mess. I was happy before but what has gotten into me. My what if’s had turned into sadness and blaming failures of life. Darn! This freaking life!
I went out of my room and found my mother, still pretty even if her wrinkles are now showing. I could see the hardships she went through because of me. And here I am I don’t have the life she wanted me to have. I really wanted to escape, runaway, but there’s no doors to open to leave this awful place. I wanted to shut everybody out and leave like as if I was a dead plant. Well, they see me as a dead plant. No one even bothers, they just stare at you and think like you’re a trash in this environment. My everyday life sucks!
But somehow I tell you the next day was a bit surreal. Not that I’m complaining. But I found it incredibly weird and somehow frustrating?
“Honey, you look so dashing today! Getting ready for your new job?” My mom, ever so positive, never gave me a frown on her face even if I had failed her zillion of times. “Mom, I’m sorry”
“For never being a good son”
“Honey, your all what I want to be, like may give you a have hard time, but who knows you’ll be on the top of your game!”
“But when is that! Everybody is on the top of their game, even Milo had succeeded to find true love and the best career to be a father of his 15 puppies!”
“Seriously dear, you’ll have your time really soon.”
I kissed my mom goodbye as I walk through the busy streets of people going to work. I have entered different companies to leave my CV’s and had an on the spot interview. As I walk through the day everybody was incredibly busy. Every person had their own paper, cigarette, coffee to hold on to, except for one, me, all I have was sweat and a handkerchief! Damn this first day impressions never made me a plus points. “Henry!” a squeaky voice from my behind, as I look back I saw Anakin waving, as if I just came out of the plane. Honestly, you wouldn’t like what I did. As she rode her bike towards me, instead of waiting for her, I ran away instead and how in the world could she smile in this kind of weather. I don’t know how she did it but it looks like she did some teleportation “Going somewhere stranger? That’s weird, you seem scared that I am. And wowowowhohooow! Looking good Mr. Frown man!”
Irritated. I gave her an unapproachable smile again “Don’t you get scared of me? Hello I am a man? I could kill you this instant!”
“You don’t look scary to me and I don’t think you can kill somebody just because they shouted HENRY!!!!!” she laughed.
“Okay okay Lil miss! I give up! What are you doing in the middle of the day? It’s so hot that you might get a heat stroke!”
“Can you see I’m on a busy day of delivering cookies?”
“If you’re busy why did you still have time to follow me?”
“I don’t know, but my heart told me so!”
“Seriously? So this is your new job? About 2 nights ago you we’re crying about not getting in to the company you wanted and now you’re employed”
She scratch her head and laugh “Well, you’re right. But in this crazy world of foolish people we should stay strong and not to bother the failures of life! And in fact it’s my mom’s mini business, she really good in baking and making really great coffee and I get paid because of this. You should visit our café once in a while. And I’m still in a job hunting, I’m never giving up.” She smiles and took a cookie jar on her delivery basket together with her phone card “Here freshly baked cookies for you! You can contact our cafe here if you want to go. I better go, I have more cookie jars to deliver. Good luck on your future endeavors! I know you’ll make it! And someone will call you!” she smiles as she waved at me good bye. That Little rascal. How in the world could she give me those kind of encouragement if she herself couldn't get a job?
Whew! Good thing she gave me cookies! I’m starving to death. Hmmmmm…. Not bad! Seriously! This cookies are just like my mom’s cookies! Again another day had pass.
Phone rings…………….. And you wouldn't believe who just called.